everyone is here already! hello. awaken to awake everyone,krishna the shepherd.. who will go to thepastures except you? volume.. volume.. was speaking for mike testing only! ok! so friends..as in all gujarati dramas.. ..an announcement ismade before the drama starts.. ..i'm going to announce similarly.
announcement number 1.. please switch off your mobileselse keep them on silent mode. whose rang? whose rang?! it's yours only. mine! not possible. how is that!? ee! sorry, sorry! it was mine. very sorry! very sorry! ok. so announcement number 2..
if you've brought a baby withyou and if it cries or makes noise.. ..during the drama, then please takeit out of the auditorium immediately. sorry.. it's ours only. i mean it belongsto someone amongst us. ee! stop him from crying! else take it out in the audience. these people are used to it. ok. so announcements are over. now, the introduction.
friends..my name is ravi. ravi khatpatia. friends, i love chatting becausemy bold group is a talkative. but no.. i won't interruptand start the play. friends, the name of today's play is.. ..umm.. you all already know the name. now that you've come to watchthis play, then have courage. friends.. in today's play..a fight amongst two characters.. ..a lot of arguments, a lot of advice,tragedy that will make your eyes wet.. ..breath stopping suspense..
nothing like all that in today's play. will tell you now.. in today's play, there's abit of awesomeness and a bit of fun! no tension, now pay attention. keep your mobile in your pocket. keep a smile on your face. laugh at your heart's content..laugh holding your tummy. hold your own tummy only,not your neighbors'! friends, a stream of humorflows from misunderstanding.
i've been a victim of that and hence,i'm here to tell you my saga. a person speaks..what another person might hear.. ..and what the nextperson may understand! you all will taste the spice ofentertainment from misunderstanding. but the one who has undergone it,at least ask him. for example.. maharaj (cook).. ee coming. get my diary. ee getting it.
why haven't you come yet?! ee here's your diary. why do you add 'ee' beforeevery sentence you say? ee that's my habit. ee i'm irritated by that habit. from today, stop saying 'ee'! ee ok. again 'ee'! won't say 'ee' again!
look, i want to go out. getmy blue shirt ironed and bring it. go. ok. but our launderer hasgone to his native place. then iron it at home. it isn't working. then get the neighbor chandreshbhai's (brother) iron! go! ee am going. yes. sir asked me to get chandreshbhai's 'eestri' (iron).
but sir also told me not to say ee. so i'll go to chandreshbhai's house and get his.. ravi.. oh chandresh bhai! i was coming to your place only. what is it maharaj? any work? yes. i want your 'stri' (woman). what nonsense! give me for some time! - oh god!
seems he has lost it! we don't ask every day.at least give for a day. what are you saying?!what are you saying?! what happened?why are you hitting him? he doesn't know what he talks! you know what he is asking?! yes. i only told him to get. you!? - yes. you very well know i don't have one.
so you'll take mine?! then what is the useof you being my neighbor. you! i see. you're refusingbecause you have got a new one! hey pal!whether new or old, i can't give. hey! why show an attitude!?as if you're the only one having! sir, shall i get fromour neighbor mahesh bhai? he had given us before too. yes. go and get. anyone's will do.
we just need to get our work done. what say! hey! oh! chandresh bhai..chandresh bhai.. chandresh bhai.. did you see friends? and in this way, misunderstandingskeep on increasing.. increasing! didn't get it? example number 2. see. what is it chandresh?seem to be in a very good mood today!
hey friend! when a mangets piping hot, tasty lunch.. ..prepared by his wife,he is always in a good mood! and the way my wife bhavna cooks!oh my! oh my! telling you the truth!no one is like bhavna! you have a seat. i'll just come. hurry up bro! - yes. maharaj.. is lunch ready? what is it maharaj?not in a good mood today?! am not feeling welland lunch is not ready.
is it? then come, i'll takeyou to my house for lunch today. no, no, no.you invited us it's more than enough. no, no, no! no formalities. you have to come for lunch! lunch is not important. i'm hungry for 'bhavna' (feelings). if you do want to give,give me your bhavna. rascal! you still haven't changed! why do you refuse all the time?!
you must always keepdistributing bhavna. for instance..give me.. give to our sir. you rascal! what's wrong?why are you always hitting him? pal, he still doesn'tknow how to speak! he tells me, 'give me your bhavna.i'm hungry for 'bhavna' (feelings).' so what's wrong in that? we all are hungryfor bhavna (feeling). why do you lose yourtemper every now and then?
it seems yourbhavna(feeling) is not good. hey! my bhavna is good enough. then why are youhesitating to give us?! kiddo.. by distributing bhavna(feeling), relationships are enhanced. i don't want to enhance relationships! hey! just asked for bhavna (feeling)!why get so angry?! of course i'll be angry, you rascal! bhavna is my wife's name. rascal! bhavna is his wife's name!
oh! oh! oh chandresh bhai! i couldn't understandyour bhavna (feeling)! there he goes again! i mean i made a big mistake.forgive me. give me 'kshama' (forgiveness). maharaj.. maharaj.. - no, no.i won't listen to you at all! look chandresh bhai.. you'll haveto give me 'kshama' (forgiveness). and i won't let go until i get kshama. maharaj.. don't ask for kshama.kshama is his sister's name!
now run! misunderstandings causesuch fun and confusion. this entire house is filledwith a godown of such confusions. various types of characters stay hereand they have different ring tones. look.. character number 1. friends.. she is binal..binal paraschandra shah. in short, bi pa sha! though she works inthis house as a house mate.. ..she has been recruitedhere from dadar's..
..'yes madam domestichelp service' recently.. ..but she is very fondof working in serials and films. look, look.. of course i am. if you see from this angle,i look like aishwarya rai. and from here bipasha basu.. and that is my trademark! friends..in world, there is an unwritten law. where there is a woman,there is a man.
similarly,in this house too there is a man. no, no, no. don't ask me the name.don't know the name. but yes.. his pet name is tinyo. he is the nephew of this house. he is a bit stupid, but very smart. this nephew has beencalled to his uncle's place.. ..so that he may perhapsfind an alliance. but let me tell you one thing. 76 girls have rejected him so far.
yeah.. because this nephewhas a very big defect. he starts every word with 'h'. for example.. if the questionis 'kem cho' (how are you).. ..he will say 'hem ho'. 'hajama'! as soon as he sees a girl,immediately he will say.. hi hove you! thank you. what thank you?!he is saying 'i love you'. shut up!
hey! in this way, the poor fellow'sheart always breaks and with.. ..disappointment,he just sings one song.. "toy.." "thinking i'm a toy..you break my heart!" hooo.. hummy (mummy).. so friends.. there is a woman inthis house, a man and even this too. he is bobby.
bobby darling.. that's my pet name. was given it recently. but my original name..it was decided even before my birth. my parents had decided it. if it's a girl, kajol. and if it's a son, shahrukh. and then i was born. so i was named.. karan johar. i'm in this housesince last three months.
in place of the old maharaj (cook). but it's so much fun! why? - because this bipasha is here. bipu.. - shut up! did you see.. the likes ofus have no respect in this world. just he, she, it and unfit. that's why you have norespect anywhere in the world. may be not. but in cricket world,we have lots of respect. really!
here's a sixer! friends.. let me tell you a secret. bobby darling has justone aim in life and that is.. no one loves me and iwon't allow anyone to love me. did you see friends.. this whole houseis filled with such colorful characters. and in this house..resides a husband whose name is ravi. ravi khatpatia. all of you have met him just now. he is husband number 1! and this husbandhas a wife whose name is sapna.
sapna! she is loving, but very suspicious. in short, husband issoulful and wife is doubtful! now let's see what happens! today is our marriage anniversary. my ravi will be here soon.. ..with a beautiful gift in his hands. and as soon as he sees me,he'll pick me up and pet me. he is here!
where shall i go..where shall i hide!? if he doesn't seeme when he comes home.. ..he gets very disturbed! where the hell is she!? here you are.. nothing.. nothing! ravi, i've been waitingfor you since so long. where were you?! 7why are you late? i had called up your office.
they said you were out. so i tried your mobile. but your mobile was switched off. why had you switched it off? whom were you meeting? where did you go? in five seconds,you asked me five questions. do you women know anythingelse except questioning your husband?! ravi! - sapna!
since a long time,your behavior towards me has changed! changed?! yes. you don't loveme like you did before. i love you just like i did before. really? - yes. then tell me something.. shahjahan got taj mahalbuilt after the demise of mumtaz. so after i die, what will you do? i'll get gowardhanbhai's tiffin service.
umm.. umm... it justslipped out of my mouth! did you see..your words are not warm like before. sushma? - warm! warm means? - not hot anymore. then lick a matchstick. that's the only thing left to do! before you used to say sapu darling..my love is as vast as the sea. even today i say that..my love is as vast as the sea. then why can i see it?
there are high tides andlow tides in seas too, right. in my fate, there are always lowtides. hardly there are high tides! damn you! can i get a glass of water? why does the seaneed a glass of water? oh god! i'm fed up of your nagging! outside, office stress.in the house, you give me stress! i'm upset today. no. from your behaviori think you're set outside.
why do you spread such good rumors? where am i set? no. you surely havean affair going on. there is someone.- no.. nothing at all. there is, there is! what?! - there is, there is, there is! ok, there is!what will you do now! there is! there is?! - yes! hey.. hey.. hey.. listen..
oh mother goddess..my married life is falling apart. i had decorated thishouse so lovingly. oh yes. but why haveyou decorated the house? i forgot! i forgot! i forgot darling.. today is yourmother's death anniversary, isn't it. today is marriage anniversary! your mother's? mine. how will i know it's yourmarriage anniversary?! damn you!
not mine alone! ours! see that!he doesn't remember 20th december! he doesn't love me!100 % you've found someone else! i've found someone else!i've found someone else! oh god! why did i get married?! because marriage is a sweet chocolate. not chocolate.. chewing gum. at first, it's sweet.but afterwards.. absolutely bland! can't swallow it, nor spit it.
all life, just.. you don't remember.. so youwouldn't have got a present too! present.. present.. from where.. i've got it..i've got present for you! then give it to me!where is my present? "gift.. gift..gift.. brought.. brought.. brought.." "a gift of love for you..has become my life." "i have found solace in it.." this is your present.
let me finish.. he has brought your present. you have brought, isn't it?- yes, yes, yes. but what? - present. you forgot? we had goneto buy a gift for her specially. you forgot? - oh yes.what a present, sister-in-law! what a present! but what was the present? what is my present?
i won't tell you. he'll tell you. 'lungi'! (wrap around cloth) sister-in-law wears 'lungi'!? then what does sister-in-law wear? what does sister-in-law wear? sari.. sari! see she knows. but youhad gone yourself, yet you don't know! sari.. sari! sapna, what a sari it is!
what color combinations! complete white sari and orange border. and green splashes in between. is it a sari or indian flag? you couldn't keep your mouth shut?! now answer her! umm.. - forget it. i'll manage. sapna, it is a sari! and the sari.. it's so expensive!
so expensive! - rs. 150. rs. 150?! why? did i say more? hey! what do you get in rs.150?! onions! oh yes.. then tell her yougot fall bidding done for rs. 150! yes.. it's done in rs.20 only. yes! tell her that you paid rs.150 stitching charges. correct! correct! rs. 150 was just sti..
you dumb man!does a sari need stitching?! forget it. i'll manage. sapna.. rs. 150..rs. 150 i paid just for the packing! but the sari was so expensive!so expensive! - rs. 5000.. rs. 175. you see the pricesof the present in love. you must not bother about theprice of the present for your lover. you must not! you must not! you must not! - you must not!
where is the sari? where is it? - where is it? where is it?! - is it there?!! it is there.you've forgotten.. in the office. he has become veryforgetful these days. oh yes! i remember.come on sister-in-law.. we'll go to the officeand get the sari. - come on!! hey! you can't go to officewith sister-in-law to get the sari! why? don't you trust me?
i trust you, not him. that's not fair! come on.. who wooed our office secretarymona and took her for a movie! she was just like a sister..- shut up! shut up! shut up! ravi, my.. - shut up! your sari will be here tomorrow. i'll myself..i'll myself wear it and come. i'll myself get it. right now we are going fordinner at aunt's house, isn't it?
to eat 'wada pav'.(bread and dumpling) wadala.. wadala..we have to go to aunt's house, right! go and get ready. go! get ready darling, honey, love.get ready. amazing sir!even after so many years of marriage.. ..you call your wife darling,honey, love! amazing! no bro.. it's not that.sometimes i forget her name. so i manage this way. sir, you're cheating sister-in-law..
..i don't like that at all! you spinster!first get married and then lecture me! yes. if i find someone like sister-in-law,i'll get married right away. what did you say?! - no sir.. what did you say?!what do you mean to say! no sir.. you are.. no sir! i respect sister-in-law, yes.- then alright. yes.. otherwise,you don't know me well enough! but i know you very well.
i very well know howmany girls you've pecked! i can very well guess fromthe look that you give a girl.. ..that now this girlwill be slaughtered! forget it sir.. please don'tchallenge jacky tanna in this matter! till today, no one knowshow many hens i've pecked in rajkot! huh! characterless! but sir.. i respect sister-in-law ok! yes sir. but forget all that. you had told me to book a hotel for thatdubai party, it's done. - yes, yes.
this is the hotel card. hotel my love. madh island, marve beach, malad. couldn't you find ahotel worse than this one? the card itself is stinking! sir.. nri season is going on.all hotels were booked. what could i do? this was the only hotelhaving vacant rooms. dubai people can adjustin such hotels too anyway.
forget all that. tell me,have we received the advance.. ..for the star plus event? sir, your partner, mr. doshi has alreadygot rs. 2 lakhs advance 10 days ago. damn this doshi..he didn't even tell me. and sir, this is not the first time..- i know! this has happenedmany times before too. since a long time i wantto break this partnership. was waiting for the right opportunity. if this doshi wasn't sapna's cousin,i would have kicked him out long back!
but not now. listen.. sapna shouldn'tknow about this right now. i have been tolerating sincelast 7 years, but not anymore. i want to separate now. i have already talked toour advocate mr. sampat about it. he has gone to baroda. once he returns,we'll give him all the papers.. ..and have a notice served. but sir settlement? i don't want any settlement.
this time i'm mentally prepared. and listen.. about this matter.. ..i have already fixed everythingwith our office secretary, mona. no, no.. didn't i say no!this time i'm mentally prepared. you're ready, aren't you? what happened? i'm getting ready. i'm getting ready.. i won't take long! in a jiffy i'll be readywearing kurta (long shirt) and all. my suspicion was right.
husband is definitelyset with someone out there. he is meeting someone. hotel my love! so he calls themhere for the meetings. oh mother goddess!my married life is falling apart! i decorated this house so lovingly. oh god! now who will help me? hey sapna! leela..
sapna.. sapna.. sapna.. sapna.. sapna.. hey! you're looking so pretty. this is for you. wish you a very veryhappy marriage anniversary! leela.. my marriage is no more happy, but on fire. what's wrong? my husband is unfaithful. whom are you talking about?
do i have 4-5 husbands!?! i'm talking about ravi. brother ravi and unfaithful!highly impossible. am telling the truth. i swear on ravi. come on sapna.. relax! sit here calmly andtell me what happened. leela.. ravi's behaviortowards me has completely changed. he scolds me at every little thing. he is my namesake husband.doesn't love me!
a husband who doesn'tlove you is useless. what is the use of amobile without a sim card?! yes leela. he is not atall interested in me anymore. he is looking out elsewhere. are you sure? i have that doubt. sapna.. if you wish,i'll call my husband here right away. you very well know. he is asardar-ji with a good height and body. he'll shatter ravi to pieces.
no, not now. first i want to ensureif my doubt is right. hmmm.. interesting. we'll do something. we'll put ravi througha stringent test. that means a conspiracy! wow! that will be fun! yes. we'll message raviimpersonating an unknown woman. if he truly loves me,he won't go to meet her. - yes.
but if he is a flirt,he'll immediately run to meet her. you'll help me in this plan,won't you? why not! you know something?you're simply great! what a plan! yes. so take this paper and pen. write a nice love letter to ravi. but sapna..where shall i call him to meet? meeting..write hotel my love. room no. 116.
hmm.. 'reading this love letter of mine..don't be angry..' hi! (how are you) what? (fine?) i'm a gujarati. (even i'm a gujrati) what?!
'hobby.' hobby? kitty party. (she is so dumb) (i'm calling her dumb andshe thinks i'm asking her hobby.) (hobby.. how are you.. fine) (i think she is deaf) sapna! sapna! hey! not hapna (sapna)!not hapna (sapna)! oh goddess! what happened, leela?
who is he? introduce me to her. this is ravi's nephew.he has come from his native. which native? what language does he speak? he speaks gujrati only. but you don't bother with him. just say yes.. yes. (thank you aunt)
(how are you?) (shall i ask you something?) (you are very nice.) (i like you.) (do you like me?) (oh damn!) (she likes me!) (hey! will you comewith me for a movie?) ('hum dil de chuke sanam'?)
(no, no, no! kidnap) (will you come alone?) (she is a flirt.) (complete flirt) (hey.. you're an absolute flirt) (i love you) (will you marry me?) (aunt.. aunt.. aunt.. come out fast!) what is it?
(aunt..) (she is ready to marry me.) yes... yes?!! yes! (ask her.. ask her..) hey! are you going to marry him? yes! what?! i thought so. the tape whichhe plays before every girl.. ..he played it before you too.
bhana.. i'm married. (doesn't matter.) hey! beware!my husband is a sardar-ji! and he is very hot tempered. if it is twelve o'clock for him,he'll ruin you! (am dead! am dead!) (got a girl with greatdifficulty and lost her already!) bhana, come here.. (yes aunt..)
say sorry to her. (sorry.) not vhorri, vaishnav.. (sorry.. sorry) vaishnav.. vaishnav.. i was a vaishnav married to a punjabi. he won't understand anything.he is a tribal! (she is so dumb!) (i am saying sorry to herand she is calling me a tribal!)
(aunt.. am i a tribal?) (what yes! what yes!) (if i'm a tribal, you are too!) (and uncle.. uncle is tarzan!) (she broke my heart!) heel? this heel? (to hell with you!) (can it be this heel, dumb girl!?) (this heart.. beating here!)
("all the ambitions ofthe heart drowned in my tears!") ("ambitions of the heart..") (aunt!!) leela, forget about him. tell me, have you finishedwriting the letter? it is ready.i was just waiting for you. wow leela!what a letter you've written! thank you so much! but with whom shall we send it?
tea is ready. sister leela.. have tea. leela, the problem is solved! we found the courier fellow! yes! just wait andwatch what happens next. this saturday.. the nightwill be young, talks will be young! and the flirt will wigglehis tongue and go for the meeting. he'll open the doorof the room and there.. he'll see sapna.
no! he'll get to seethe infuriated form of sapna. goddess chandika herself! oh dear! hello.. bobby deol? bobby deol is not here.but there is bobby darling. shall i give him the phone? bipu.. whose call was it?why did you hang up? he was asking for bobby deol. i said we have bobby darling.
he abused me and hung up. bipu.. do you know what iscommon between bobby deol and me? bobby. - no. ego. he doesn't visit myhouse and i don't visit his. bipu, do you know something else? why do girls apply red vermilionpowder on their heads after marriage? why? so that people come to know that thisplot has already been inaugurated. bipu.. nice.
what? - shoes. shall i remove?! your dress is also good.now say, 'shall i remove'! what is this!all the time you keep saying shut up! don't we feel thedesire to get married? marriage and with you! wouldn't it be betterif i marry bhana! you are just the master's servant. and he.. is master's nephew.
no comparison between vivekoberoi and abhishek bacchan! why are you so carried away by him! he can't even speak! he starts every word with an 'h'. that's so confusing. at least he says'honeymoon' correctly. that's enough. naughty! bipu.. when i see you,my hearts goes 'bip..bip..' i'm serious.
for you, i'm ready tojump out from here and die. then die! - oh dear! what happened?! - what happened? she pushed me! - why? he only told me..i'm ready to die. that's why. he might say..doesn't mean we should push. even i can say,go and hit him with this. then? i will hit him.. in this way! oh dear! -what happened?
(dumb girl is here) leela.. she hit him with this..in this way! oh no! you're amazing..you're even showing me how she hit! this way! what happened?what is the ruckus about? (uncle.. i'll tell you.) (uncle.. side.. side) huh? - side.
(uncle..first bipasha hit him. this way.) (then.. aunt hit him.. this way.) (then.. leela hit him.. this way!) (so i thought.. now that everyonehas hit him, but i am left.) (so.. even i hit him.. this way!) oh! will you killthe poor kid this way! can you hit him this way?! this way!? this way! this way! this way! thisway! this way! this way! this way! (uncle.. once more)
are you hurt? - yes. see! see! bhana.. why are youidling away at home? from tomorrow start looking for a job. else i'll send youback to native place! (sorry uncle..) not vhori.. vaishnav. bipasha.. come here. walk properly!
from today.. all your dramas of becominga heroine should stop in this house! and when you're working in the house,you'll keep your mobile off. and secondly.. you won't look at him. (very good) and you won't talk to him. no! (uncle!) - what is it!? (uncle! you're very heartless!) you're heartless.
(villain.. villain) damn you! calling me a villain! vaishnav.. vaishnav! (to hell with you! move!) (aunt.. aunt!) let go of your aunt! go out.. my car is parked there.wash it, come on! (sorry uncle) (hey! to hell with you!!)
leela.. your husband, mr.talwar was going to come and meet me. has he not come with you? no. i came in my car. i think he'll first go to office. i'm organizing a very big event. i'm going to give the securitycontract to your husband. put in a word for a discount. sapna.. sapna.. sapna.. sapna.. sapna..
sapna! - yes? what? what sign languagewere you talking to him in? i was just askinghim whether he was hurt. hey! drama king! go inside! go inside! but sir.. - i don't wantto see any accounts right now. i'm going out. you go inside. first you.. - first you.. first you.. - ladies first. sapna.. i can't find my car keys.
what are you saying?!it's always in its place. no. i always keep it here. i saw under that fileand under the pad too. it's not there or here.. what is this? where is your attention? look.. i'm going to the gym. doctor has advised me towalk in the gym daily for an hour. he has given me a guarantee.
he will reduce my weightby 15 kilos within a month. just wait and watch.. i'llonce again become a youth of 20 years. she is been crying since morning!god knows what's wrong with her! i can't understand! leela.. i've given thatletter to bobby. - yes. it will reach ravi anytime. ok. that's good. i'll just remind him. - yes. bobby..
(yes, yes. yes uncle.) (just a minute.. just a minute..) hey.. (remove your car) (remove your sari) hey!! (hey! your car..) (our car is going out) (remove your car!)
(doesn't matter..i'll only remove your car.) hey! stay away! don't touch me! oh god! what happened again? (uncle asked her to remove her sari) did your uncle really say that?! i swear on uncle. ravi is getting so spoiled! the matter has reached your sari! i think now i should letmy husband handle this case.
leela.. remove your car..it's obstructing my way. i see.. i see.. you mean the car? what did you think? this bhana... - bhana.. bhana.. (uncle.. uncle..what is my fault in this?!) (what is my fault?) (you said..go and tell her to remove her car.) (i came and told that to her..) (remove your car.)
(but this dumb woman..she thought sari instead of car..) (so what is my fault in that?!) he is saying hobby. he is saying dumb! hey! - hey! (to damn with you!) yes.. yeah.. ok, ok. no, i'm at home. i was going out. but if you'recoming to my house to meet me..
..i'll stay home. ok, we'll go in the evening. yes, please come. yes, yes.. ok. sapna.. someone is cominghome right now to meet me. so i'm not going to gym just now. i'll go to the gym in the evening. but i'll surely go to the gym! come on leela..we'll be late in reaching the hotel.
conspiracy!i won't spare him.. - sapna! i won't come in this sari. looking at this sari,i remember bhana's babbling! i have to change this sari. come on.. wear my sari. i'm in so much difficultyand you want to change your sari! but why not! oh dear! this love letteris a very useful thing. no name written below, nor on top.
doesn't matter if it iscirculated in the whole world. first of all,let me circulate bhana and bipasha. love letter to bhana from bipasha. now lit the fire! bipu.. bipu..- what is it? tell me fast. do you want to work in movies? movies.. yes, yes! my old master is making a new movie. titanic in gujarati.
and the name of the gujarati titanicis 'naavdi doobi sajan tara desh ma'! i have put in a word for you.you'll get the job. get ready nicely and go there. where? - hotel my love. when? - today evening at 7. what if sir doesn'tpermit me to leave? sir wants to live in this house or no? listen.. come here. yes! now see my acting!
thanks bobby!you solved my big problem! hey bipu..will you do me a small favor? tell me. bhana has received a letter.will you give it to him? actually i want to goto beauty parlor. for waxing. sir has forbiddenme from talking to him. then signal to him and give. after all you're an actress, right! right! right! right!
("i'll love you morning and night..") (morning and night?then what about afternoon?) (wrong song.. cannot sing.) (another song.) ("hey flowery girl..hey flowery girl..") ("scent of flowers..prick of thorns..") ("seeing you..") ("my heart says..") (she is calling me.)
(tell me.) tell me! (what did you think?) (it's my stomach) (love letter?) (bipasha loves me!) (love letter for me!) (you will marry me?!) (bipasha! where did she go?)
(bipasha.. bipasha..) (bipasha has given me a love letter.) (what has she written?) (ok. hotel my love,malad, marve beach) (i see.. she is callingme here for a meeting! yes!) (aunt.. aunt.. aunt!) (me and bipasha are engagaed!) (bipasha loves me..she is ready to marry me!) (aunt!)
(here comes aunty!) (aunty!) (aunty.. oh!bobby.. bobby.. bipasha loves me!) (she has written a love letter to me!) ("tell me you love me!") now the poor fellow willreach there in love.. to the hotel! bipasha will reach to meetthe producer.. to the hotel! now i'll send sir too.. to the hotel! sir.. sir..
what is it?! stop giving me these dirty signals! stand straight! a private letter has come. where is it? - in private. this.. this.. this! who gave you this letter? speak a bit louder so that i can hear! a beautiful lady came in a car,gave me rs. 100 and told me..
..give this to your master. then give me rs.100. that was for me. this is for you. it was a very beautiful lady, sir! alright. now go! won't let anyone love! why are you dancing alone? nothing.. nothing! bobby.. i won't have dinner tonight.don't cook for me.
why? where are you going? sister rupa is having a religious singingprogram at her house. going there. very good. even i'm not having dinner. i'm going here.. i'm going there... umm..to brother rupesh's house. he is having lord satyanarayan prayer.am going there. i see. lord satyanarayan prayer! what are you holding in your hand? nothing..
other hand? nothing! both hands? oh! umm.. kk.. pp.. paper! have received itfrom the municipality. they have called me for a meeting,nothing special. really.. is it a 'bhai'(brother) or a 'bai' (woman)? bai.. - bai!? umm..umm..babu inamdar. bai! short form.
i see. bai. so won't you go to thelord satyanarayan prayer.. ..to get blessings? have to go there of course! then go. we'll meet there. i mean we'll meet after you return. we'll dance in lordsatyanarayan prayer. listen.. listen..in lord satyanarayan prayer, they.. umm.. umm.. listen!
this letter has putme in a sweet confusion. what shall i do? should i go or not? sir.. it's ready. quotation and theseare the contract papers. and cheque book? cheque? why is a cheque needed? why? if we sign a contractwon't we have to give a cheque? go and get the chequebook from the office! doing incomplete jobs!
my day is bad today! but hey jacky!today, my day is very good! a very romantic thinghas happened in my life. an unknown woman haswritten a love letter to me. and she has calledme to meet her alone. then please go sir!don't forego the chance! yes, yes. even i'm anxious. and why would i not be? am i asaram bapu?
only fortunate ones get asaram. no, no. what would sapna feel? i wouldn't like cheating on sapna. what i was saying is..do you want to be the fortunate one? meaning? do you want to go instead of me? oh sir!! if i get this opportunity,i won't ask for diwali bonus too! really! then don't wastetime massaging my legs.
go there fast.hotel my love.. evening at 7. am going sir! first i'll get the cheque book ina jiffy. and then get ready in jazzy! good bye sir! but this.. sir.. - what happened? found a mobile? it's mine. give. no. there was a phonecall from bipasha's house. her aunt expired.
they were tryingher phone since morning. but you asked herto switch off her mobile. oh uncle!!!- not uncle. aunt has expired. someone did go right.they didn't inform me too! if they had informed you,would you have accompanied them? what has happened has happened. the prayer meeting is in evening. if i go to the prayer meeting,who will sweep, mop the house? he will sweep, mop the house.
you go. oh uncle! uncle is sitting healthy and hearty!aunt went!! bobby, what i was saying is.. ..we both also have to goas social obligation, isn't it? no!! if both of you come,it'll be big trouble. everyone will be angry with you. because you had meswitch off my mobile.
because of you.. because of you sir.. ..i couldn't evensee the dead body's face! oh uncle!! today, she'll definitelysend her uncle up! tell here, not uncle aunt has gone. she has gone. listen.. no one is goingto have dinner today at home. i am. - you can fast. bipasha will be goingto the prayer meeting.
sapna is going to areligious singing program. i'm going to lord satynarayan prayer. and you can buy a lollipop for bhana. (uncle.. even i won't have dinner.) (menaka.. i'm going there.) where? (umm. umm.. at the orphanage.) (to distribute sweets.) see that. he himself is an orphan.
and he'll distributesweets at the orphanage!? (uncle.. will distributesweets to small children.) ok, ok. go. am allowing youto go because you're doing charity. but bhana.. you surely have improved. since when? - (since half an hour) what! (sweets for small children..) where is this orphanage? (malad)
malad? (not malad.. mira road) mira road!not mira road! no way! not there! yes, yes, yes.. you can go! but first stop harassing me now.get lost. (uncle..) (you're very miserly) miserly? why?
(at least give me money) money? money for what? yes, yes.. giving.. giving.. calm down. else the neighborswill also come and give you money. take this.. it rs. 1000. and listen.. before you feedsweets to the small children.. ..you have your fill since dinnerwon't be cooked today in our house. (small, small..) yes!! you're drivingme crazy with that babble!
(uncle is an idiot!) hey khatpatia.. it's come..a storm named tsunami has come. (who?) mr. talwar.he is sister leela's husband. he is very cruel. (hide.. hide!) hey khatpatia.. my friend.. hey.. hey pal!
greetings my friend! this is the limit! after giving an appointment,when a person doesn't stay home.. ..feel like blasting a bomb! hi tallu.. hey! shoo.. shoo.. damn you! stay away from me! so many times have i warned you.. ..talk to me froma distance of 20 feet!
who is this who's laughing? he is sir's nephew. hey! talk properly! (i don't know punjabi!) why does he speak chinese? (hey! i'm speaking gujarati!) (she is a dumb girland this is a dumb fellow!) (hey dumb fellow!i'm talking in gujarati only!) what language is he speaking?
he is speaking pure gujarati. just a problem with the sound track. whatever he says, just say yes. whatever he says, just say 100 %.that will do. go on. get up! (he hits) (he hit me?!) 100 %.
(shall i tell you something?) (your wife is a big flirt.) 100 % pal. (you know that yourwife is a big flirt?) (damn it! this is so good!) 100 % kiddo. (can i get one chance?) (i have money..) sorry.. sorry..sorry! very sorry talwar sir!
welcome bro! what's up! why are you in pain? it's a gujarati's hand. sorry.. sorry.. sorry pal! you didn't have to wait for long,did you? not at all. it was fun talking to bhana. mess! bhana.. what did you say?
(how are you?fine? your wife is a big flirt.) how are you? fine? your wifeis a big flirt. can i get one chance? hey!!!! - oh no!!! let go! - forget it. (uncle.. save me from this demon!) let him go.. he's just a kid! he's just a kid! let him go! - leave. bhana.. next time you do this.. i'llpack you off to your native place! (uncle.. i'm going!)
rice and lentils? (uncle.. he is a dumb fellow,she is a dumb girl!) bhana.. don't you have to go? (where?) feed small, small children.. (uncle, i was about to go. but he..) (but he gave me such an offer..i was just!) (he is so dumb!) (ok.)
(bye dumb fellow) (100 % dumb fellow!) friend ravi.. tell me something.what does 'hoba' mean? 'hoba' means 'doba' (dumb). what does 'doba' mean? 'doba' means sardar-ji. it means a sardarji! this.. this.. this.. is your contract. give me.. give me.. - i've signed it.
ok, ok. hey! where is the cheque? my assistant jackyis getting the cheque. jacky tanna? - yes, yes. no way. he is a verycharacterless man. have heard that his attitudetowards women is not good. hey! i don't like characterless men. you're talking aboutcharacterless men?! these days,even women have become characterless!
forget it! in this matter, i'm the mostfortunate husband in the whole world. really?! leela and i,both trust each other completely! i've leela's timetable for the whole day. where she is going..whom she is meeting.. what she'll be eating..what she'll be drinking.. i know everything. shall i tell you about today?
my leela is with yourwife today from 4 o'clock. correct. and evening 6 o'clock.. ..both of them are going to sisterrupa's house for religious singing. hey this is outside the course. she didn't tell me about that. what to tell you aboutthe religious singing? friend ravi.. my leela doesn'tdrink water without my permission. if she talks to an unknown man,she'll lose her life. you're right.women should be kept in control.
else they start writingsuch dirty love letters. yes. an unknown lady haswritten a love letter to me. she has called me tomeet her alone in a hotel. pal.. are there suchwomen in the world?! minimum one is there. no comparison between myleela who is pure like the ganga.. ..and this sewer woman! but one thing for sure! this sewer's handwriting is not bad.
what?! - her handwriting is very good. look.. read it! give me.. give me.. show! hey!!!! these are hers! - whose? pal, wife's handwriting! which donkey's wife's handwriting? this donkey's wife! i see.. this one!
who leela?leela wrote a love letter to me? but why did leela needto write a love letter to me? she could have told me directly too. she is a tramp!so unfaithful! a snake! stop it.. stop it pal! all this has happened because of you! you kept her under strict control! hence she has bounced like a spring! i won't leave her! - right.
i'll kill her! - kill her!so that she won't repeat this! correct! and i'll also kill the personwhom she has written this letter! she has written the letter to me. what!! oh! oh! not to me!- to whom she has written then? "beware beauties.. here i come!" "mad above beauty.." hey kiddo.. do you alwayssing situation appropriate songs? of course. you have any problem?
now you'll have the problem. hey! who has shewritten the letter to? she has written to him, jacky tanna. the one who is characterless. to him?! come on! he's just a mouse! sir.. where is my letter? are you convinced now? over.. his episode is over today.
kiddo.. you know the addressof the cemetery, right. i know all the addresses, sir. over! your episode is over today! friend, the episodehas not even started yet! he is going to be on fire! are you going there? - yeah. are you going to meet theperson who has written the letter? yeah of course! pal.. tell him not to go there!
that's his wish. how can we tell him? tell him not to go there! sir, why is this man stopping me? will explain.also fix the prayer meeting date. he wanted to go instead of you. i said no. so he is jealous. tell me.. will you go there now? i'll go!
go there and say exactly thesame thing loudly with your chest out. i tell you.. don't go there. tell you.. i'll go! buddy.. aren't you scared? if in love, why be scared? well done 'mughal-e-azam'!stand ahead! aren't you scared of her husband? why be scared of her husband?! even six bullets won't be enough.
her husband must be some simpleton! telling you for the last time..don't go there. if i were in your place,i would definitely go. i'll go!! my journey's destinationis hotel 'my love'. "ram-ji has started his journey!" sing the next line.he'll be happier to hear that. "ram-ji's leela (miracle) is lovely!" leela!
"ram-ji's leela (miracle)is lovely!" - leela! what nonsense! what's with you!you let him escape, buddy! you wasted 2 bulletsfiring at the ground. from the outside,you're like an ocean.. ..but inside, just mahim creek! what's this buddy! shut up buddy! buddy. i thought.. what if.. what if the hand writingis not my leela's..
..then this poor fellow wouldhave died without reason, right. intelligent! - of course buddy. my leela wouldn'tdo anything like this. how do i look? do you call this your favoritewhite floral color sari? kitti darling.. you over here?! - yes. why did you change your sari? bhana.. - bhana is involved!did you see! come on leela, we're getting late.
he brother-in-law, it's you! bobby, get refreshmentsfor brother-in-law. sorry, we're getting a bit late. sister-in-law,you're also supporting her? we have an understanding. sometimes she supportsme and sometimes i support her. you know give and take. narendra modi,jaylalitha and an understanding! aren't you going?
where?! - where? in the satyanarayan prayer. going.. going.. going.. going. leela.. - yes? where? - in the holy song recital. yes, we're going. bye! - bye! bye ravi darling! bye kitti darling!
bye bye leela darling! bye bye forever. what is this?! what's with you!you let your wife escape, buddy! from the outside,you're like narendra modi.. ..but inside, manmohan singh! what is this nonsense..buddy buddy buddy?! listen to me. - yes. look.. i want to catch leelaand jacky in the hotel red hand. once they are caught red handed,then see the power of this!
you're right.and to catch them red handed.. ..you've to go rightaway to hotel my love. yes. - then go. dog! i'm coming! yeah!!! listen.. sardar-ji! - hey get aside! hey you there on cycle! (uncle, i'm going too!) (small small poor children..)
yes, yes.. go, go! - yes! go, go! you also go! sir.. sir, if you also go,there would be disaster. i'm not going to hotel my love! jacky, leela and talwar..let them handle with the mess! why should we bother! of course we have to bother. in the hotel room, sister sapnawill be there, not sister leela! then this letter?
sister sapna got this letterwritten from sister leela. this means.. this burningwood piece was aimed at me! i mean.. i mean.. in the hotel room,jacky will be there with sapna?! revolver! give me your talwar (sword)! talwar.. give me your revolver! sir.. car keys.. no. today i'll go running. my walking is not complete today. i'm going!
no one loves me..i won't let anyone love! mow, there will be fun!there will be fun.. ..in hotel my love!! welcome..welcome ladies and gentlemen. so friends, this is hotel my love.. ..where the wild dance ofmisunderstanding will take place now! and this is the owner cum manager cumdamager of hotel my love.. anthony! friends.. there may or maynot be customers in the hotel.. ..but anthony is used to speaking.
welcome sir.. welcome madam! oh dear!such mess in anthony's own hotel! where are these damn servants?!champak! yes sir.. champak.. our special room no.116, which has been booked under.. ..ravi khatpatia's name..where a party from dubai is coming. check the room. the room is shining sir! our hotel runs on that room alone!
because the specialty of thishotel is, the revolving bed in it. a bed that keeps revolving!it's revolving properly, right? it's revolving nicely sir. i don't trust you, lazy fellow! i'll have to check. sit! perfect! keep it on sir.. that's so much fun! am i your servant!
looking like a hooligan!come on, off to work! sir. he is asking fora giraffe since morning. seems like he was lost from a circus. champak.. if we havea few more of such customers.. ..all of us will have toget admitted into a sanatorium! sir.. hand over this case to pasla. yes! pasla will handle him properly! he can't be seen anywhere..
pasla.. pasla.. this pasla is one of a kind. he came in a shipfrom verawal to vasai. then he somehow foundhis way to marve beach and.. ..he is dancing on my head since. our pasla is such a sly kid..not worth taking him even for free. hey pasla! hey all! greetings from pasabhaipatel to all mumbai dwellers! pasla.. pasla.. there are somany chores to be done in the hotel..
..and you want to dancearound this way like a donkey! tell me.. what is the differencebetween you and a donkey?! about half a foot. now, about five feet. stop it!stop it or i'll cut your salary! but first give me the salary. pasla.. this madrasi is askingfor something right from the morning. ask him what he wants. hey lungi (wraparound cloth)!
dal wada (lentil dumpling) look brother.. this is a beach. you may find a camel over here,but not a giraffe. frock.. hey pasla..you know madrasi language too! i know how to speak chinese too..shall i speak? speak, speak. chinese. off to work! off to work!
keep this in 115. go, go! just a minute!first of call remove this loin cloth. i will never remove it.without it i'll feel very embarrassed. no.. i mean remove this folk dressand wear our hotel's nice uniform! i'll never wear that. i feel very comfortable inthis loin cloth. ventilation you see! nothing doing pasla. i've caught you thricewearing customer's clothes. liar.. four times!
we village folk don'tlike wearing coats and pants. all over! off to work! itch guard! hey! come here.. come here! what is this.. whenever you see me,you keep giggling and babbling? i wanted to ask you somethingsince many days. shall i? ask.. have you gone bald or grown it? hey! you! wait!
can a bald head be grown? oh my god! excuse me! oh! welcome sir.. welcome madam! a room has been booked under mr.ravi khatpatia's name, isn't it? yes madam. room no. 116. have you come from dubai? actually..umm.. - no problem madam.. no problem. i'll show you the room. room no. 116.
yes. come. fully ac room, imported bathroom. but the bathroom lock is indian,so be careful while locking. and madam.. this is our specialty. our revolving bed! a bed that turn around. green switch is for room service.while red switch.. if you press the red switch,the bed will revolve. see.
a man free with a room! madam.. if you don't like this room,you can sit in room no. 112. ok. - yes. god! yes sapna.. you were right. a room in brother ravi'sname has been booked. come fast. yes. sister.. sister.. - yes. (hotel my love)
(it's very nice) (bipasha here?bipasha.. bipu.. bipu..) ("where are you hiding?!") ("i'm yearning for you here") (anyone there?) oh! welcome sir.. (wait.. first listen to me!) oh! welcome madam! (where were you donkey?)
(this is the owner of the hotel) (mama had warned me..) (instead of roaming around,look for a job.) (else he'll send me to native place) (hotel's owner.. i'll ask for a job) (excuse me..) yes sir.. what do you want? (i want a job(girl)) (give me a job(girl))
i don't do such work. (part time will also do..) (small big.. anything will do) oh! (i'll work very hard.give me a job(girl)) what do you want!!? (i want hippo) that madrasi fellow wants a giraffe. and this kid wants a hippopotamus!
(hey pasla!) (pasla?) (bipasha.. bipu.. bipi) (call out to me..) (where are you hiding, my beloved..) (i'm here!) now i'll be a heroine.. from halun straight to hollywood! "we had gone to buy vegetables.."
i think a song from mytitanic gujarati is going on. "holding a rope betweenteeth had gone to fetch hay!" sir.. oh my uncle!! these city men are very lucky. a girl calls a manin the room herself. coming.. coming.. dear. let me finish some work first.then i'll come! one thing for sure..mumbai women are just terrific!
("where are you? i am here!") (want to feed sweetsto small poor children) why was this child tribalshocked to see me and run off? brother.. brother.. (different language) giraffe.. i see.. you want coconutoil to massage your legs! want coconut oil? oh my.. sir.. oh my uncle!!
this girl shouts 'oh myuncle' and starts shivering! coming sister.. coming. first let me give coconutoil to this giraffe. after that i'll come! excuse me. is that giraffe?! getting it.. don't be so impatient! he has harassed me so muchchanting giraffe.. giraffe! yes tell me sister.. what is it?
hey pasla..go to room no. 115 and give tea. go that way. a room in name of mr. ravi khatpatia.. - it's booked, madam. are you coming from dubai? no.. that's another girl. third one?! - what?! nothing madam.. nothing at all. i'll show you the room.. come. come. room no. 116 madam.
yeah.. it's ok.i'm not interested in your room. you can leave. if sir comes,send him inside immediately. ok ma'am. if sir comes,i've to send him in immediately. "unseen,unknown, stupid, crazy girl.." mr. ravi khatpatia's room? room no. 116. has madam arrived? yes sir.
how is she? just like madhu bala. tell her that i've come. alright sir. madam. sir is here. and he is ready too. send him in. even i'm ready. sir.. - enjoy!
do charity! "beware beauties.." hey! where is she? i'm just getting refreshed.will be out soon. wow! even i'll do someromantic ruckus to get a thrill! what shall i do?! yes! i'll become robinhood! ahem! - cock-a-doodle doo! cock-a-doodle doo!
cock-a-doodle doo!cock-a-doodle doo! cock-a-doodle doo! hey cock! hey! this is not a cock, but the crow! jacky.. here?! sister-in-law.. you and here?! what are you doing here? i've come to meet the girlwho has written the letter. but i had written the letter for ravi. but he sent me.
but why didn't he come? sister-in-law,sir doesn't like all this. he is a very simple man. you doubt him without reason. really? - of course. that's why he sent me. yes. ravi..forgive me. i couldn't understand you. i'm coming home right now! jacky.. you and me..in this hotel this way..
please don't tell anyone. no question about that sister-in-law! yes.. but have to callthat hotel manager and tell him. else he'll create a mess. - yes. which switch for room service? press anyone. i'll press the red one. ("i'm here") what happened? is he here?
he is here. who manager? no.. damager. who? him! (aunty.. aunty) hey! this is your orphanage? (please don't tell uncle!) i will tell.
(i will tell) hey! listen to me.. - don't tell.. shut up! shut up! give me your mobile. give him else he'll tell ravi. yes.. give me your mobile! (i'll tell unclethat aunt is a flirt.) (she is going around with jacky) (yes.. i'll tell him)
coconut oil is not availablein any room at all. let me check in this room. perhaps i might find coconut oil. sister-in-law, he won't listen.what shall i do? do something. press this switch. so that he goes around again. yes.. very good idea! see.. press the red switch again. (aunt is a flirt.)
forget it. what are you doing? y..y..y..y..you! m..m..m..m..me! ravi, i'm not to blame in any of this! sir.. you only sent me. so i'm not to blame at all! so.. i'm to blame in this whole issue? no.. not at all! sir, what you'rethinking is not right.
yes.. don't have anyfalse notions about us. but why would i have false notions? can't i have real notions? i'm as pure as the ganga, sir! hey! not just you. say we! yes. sir..we are pure like ganga and jamna. wow! dilip kumar.. vaijanthi mala! circumstances were such that you,me, him in this hotel.. you came around thisway and all this..
say something. what shall i say? sitar! what is a sitar? it's a musical instrument. come on now ravi.. how canwe speak the language of a sitar? damn it! who is this ravi after all?! seems like there is extremelow tide in the sea today. ravi.. don't say that.don't break my heart. hey! don't waste my time.
that giraffe will be here again.to ask for coconut oil. i think sir has lost it! no way. he is just acting. really? - he has actedin many dramas in college. ravi.. hit me, scold me..but forgive me! ok.. i do. thank god! now at least let me go, madam. madam?! call me darling.
she won't let me go if i don't say. ok.. i'll say it.. darling..darling.. darling.. darling.. for four times. ok. hey not just for the sake of it! first hold my hand. hey! why are you shivering? am i a stranger? mumbai women are just terrific! wooing with their sweet talks..such are the women of mumbai!
come on.. keep your hand on my heart. this is enough for today! rest, next week. am telling you the truth.. before iwanted to see mumbai and return back. but now, program cancelled! hey! why are youteasing this poor man?! you don't tease me ravi.. damn it! who is this ravi?! i'm pasu.. pasa bhai patel.
residence verawal..job, applying coconut oil. sir.. sir.. hey pasla.. my master is here.. the bald fellow! now he'll slaughter me..because of you! pasla.. do you havethat grinding stone.. has he done something audacious? no.. i was not audacious.actually she only.. damn you!!!
hey! what are you doing?!-hey! what are you doing?! i can hit him! because i'mhis master and he is my servant. he is your servant?!- he is your servant?! yes! veraval's bachelor,our servant paslo. paslo?! - yes. paslo. smile now at least! brother.. -quiet! quiet! here.. now don't harass me! what nonsense is this?
a bigger bottle thanthis is not available. i think he'll be satisfiedif i get him qutub minar. listen madrasi.. listen.. sir!! this female.. since so longshe is rattling on 'sir, sir'.. ..and playing hide and seek with me..at times here and at times there! coming baby! first let mereturn this coconut oil bottle. i'll come after that. but mumbai women are just terrific!
wonder where this producer is sitting? (bipo.. bipi.. bipu!) (bipu.. i'm your producer.) you?! (yes. producer of small,small children) (hey! naughty!you only wrote a letter and called me) neither have i written you any letter,nor called you here. (what!?) all this is that bobby's handiwork!
(damn that bobby!) (to hell with him!) (he broke my heart again!) i'll mend your heart tinu. (hinu?) (naughty!) (100 percent?) (yes) (bipu.. where did she go?)
(bipu.. come on..bedroom.. come on) - come on! (honeymoon) where are leela and jacky? who is it? who is it?! statue. strange! anarkali pose! it's marble! i say hello..
hey! hey! hey! anar.. anar.. got it! leela, take the call. hey! strange! anarkali with mobile! anar.. i say anar.. but mobile.. anarkali disappeared! seems like anar has goneinto earth like mother sita.
hey! bald ravan! hey! welcome sir! welcome madam! shut up wiper! say only sir! welcome sir!what can i do for you sir? buddy.. where is my wife? in that case..many types of wives keep coming here. one is there,one over there, one here. find out where is yours!
find.. what is find! come on sister-in-law.. we'll leave. come on brother.. fast. i won't spare this jacky today. oh no! talwar! hey! open the door! open the door! what is talwar doing here? i don't know. what will we do now?
i'll do something.i'll turn this on. - yes, yes.. i say open the door! jacky! open the door! (who is knocking?) (won't let me enjoy my honeymoon too!) (opening!) no.. don't open the door. (leela.. what is leela doing here?!)
(i see.. you were leela right now?) don't open the door! (i'll open) don't open. it's my husband. (so.. i'll open) shall i call your uncle ravi? (what?) shall i call your uncle raviand tell him that you and bipasha.. ..are alone in a hotel room..
(hey dumb girl.. not two, three) (one, two and three!) opening! shall i call your uncle? (hey! you're threatening me!?) (threatening me?!) i'll open. you!!! (hey.. talwar.. talwar!)
beware! (talwar) hey.. it's you, bhana. hey buddy! witch! she's a witch!she doesn't have a face. hey buddy! it's a witch! (dumb fellow! hair on top!) (hair on top!) (yours is inside, hers is outside.)
(that hair.. on top.) help me lord.. help me! hey! you.. here?! you came here inthe hotel with bhana?! yuck! - (why yuck!) (why yuck!) (first, worry about your wife!) (your wife.. she is a big flirt!) 100 % buddy.
(100 %.. true) buddy.. who broughtleela and jacky together? (bobby did. yes!) defective piece. (yes, yes..he only exchanged the letter) damn him! this is full! today, if i catch leelaand jacky together red handed.. ..there will be a blast!
(hey! the ceiling broke) where are those people? i'm tired! (are you tired?) tired.. tired.. (you're tired!) (yes. go this way) fresh.. - fresh. i see, fresh? - yes.
(bathroom is over here.) hathroom? - bathroom.. bathroom. crazy fellow! no, no.. it is your private bathroom. (doesn't matter) (you can go.. go ) how how? - go, go. go.. ok! (go, go..) - go, go.
no, no, no. bhana.. - yes.. bhana.. - yes? the door won't open. (break it!) holi?! aunt is here.. aunt! aunt's bhana (nephew)..now see the fun you two! i've brought sir's car.
and sir is coming running after. now both of you are done for! (now?) (wait.. first i'll get done with you!) (talwar.. talwar..) the door won't open, buddy! (forget the door!) (bobby is here.. bobby is here!) (bobby is here)
repeat. bobby! (bobby is here) - where is bobby? (come, come) (bobby.. bobby..) (where is bobby?!)- where did bobby go? (bobby) - where did he go? (bobby) - don't say where did he go? say, where did she go?
(hey! not where did she go.) (where did it go?) - yes. (bobby, where did it go?) (hey! the table moved.) (the table moved!) (strange hotel..the table moves. the bed turns) (i go around) (bipasha goes around) (talwar goes around)
hey! what nonsense! how can a table move?! the table is here.. see. (hey! you would have fallen!) forget the table! - ok. find jacky..i want to shoot him. - yes. (jacky..) - jacky.. (jacky.. jacky.. jacky..) i'll do something.
i'll leave from here. oh dear! leela madam is here. i won't let anyone love! i'll tell talwar. talwar.. mr. talwar.. leela madam is here. you donkey! get inside! sister.. this hotel is so dangerous!
the room is more dangerous! do something. press theswitch and run away from here! oh dear! everythingis like me in this hotel! automatic. hey! leela and jacky are notin this room, there are cockroaches. leela.. jacky..be ready to die, rascals! hey! it opened. i'll go in 112. i'll be safe there.
why are you late? meaning? everything is over? haven't got such reports. this is a very mysterious hotel sir. can't find anything. leela madam fooled me. sapna madam is not in the hotel. leela madam is justshowing her tantrums. did you see?! didn't i tell you!
my sapna is not like that! sorry sapna..i love you..just like before. do you understand.. so many problems were causedbecause you messed with that letter. that talwar will shoot jacky. sir.. forgive me please.i won't repeat this. forgive me. how can i forgive you? i myself instigatedtalwar against jacky. i myself am repenting it.
do something. find jacky fastand tell him to elope from this hotel. else talwar will slicehim off with a 'talwar' (sword). yes. - go, go, go! and listen.. listen.. brother-in-law.. - leela.. at last you were tempted to come here. i came to know aboutyour deeds just now. no, no.. nothing like that. keeping your husband in dark,you write love letters to another man!
that's not right! you found no one elseto fall in love with but me?! no, no.. that's not right! didn't you write this letter to me? i wrote it but that's not correct. isn't this your handwriting in the letter? it's mine. but that's not right. haven't you called meto the hotel for a meeting? i have. but that's not right!
that's not right! that's not right!that's not right! then what's right? then what's right? i love my husband a lot. that is your misconception. your husband is lookingfor you and jacky. he'll shoot you anytime. pasa you! hey! where did leela go? forget about your leela now pasla!
look.. you're misunderstanding. i'm not paslo..i'm ravi! ravi khatpatia. you drama king.. once againyou're wearing a customer's clothes.. ..and trying to fool me?you scoundrel! remove this first! remove it!! scoundrel! (uncle.. uncle!) (uncle!) - where are you going! (uncle.. uncle.. uncle..) he is eating!
bhana.. bhana.. you know me, right? tell him who i am! (hey! he is my uncle) he is the servant of my hotel, paslo. (hey.. he is original uncle) hey.. even you're gettingconfused like other, brother. he is the servant of my hotel, paslo.catch him! pasla.. pasla.. pasla.. (commotion)
hey! hey! help me! come on now! (you baldy! this is nonsense!) (you undressed my uncle!) (he was looking so bad.. my uncle!) (what an idiot you are, baldy!) (being a man you undress a man?!) (nonsense!baldy! aren't you ashamed!?) this is his shirt, sir..
shall i put on his loin cloth for him? not loin cloth, you idiot! make him wear ourhotel uniform like you! he won't listen to you!i'll make him wear! whew! all work is done. but can't find that girl.i'll need to do something. help me. hey! get aside! get aside! (i am going) (uncle!)
(oh no! uncle was wearing a suit.) (and he is wearing a drape!) (that means.. he is gay!) (he is gay!) listen.. - (you're gay!) what a kid! after so many days, i'vegot customer's clothes to launder. let me go to the sea shore! will get to see tomato like girls!
whew! that 'lungi'or talwar are not here. but leela's mobile is unreachable. how will i find her? yes. but today was just amazing,isn't it sister-in-law? what amazing!? it was troublesome! yes. but one thing is true. first time in lifei got to see a duplicate. after going home,i'll first tell ravi.. ravi, i saw your duplicate today!
is it? if he askswhere did you see him? in hotel my love. in hotel my love! what if he asks you what wereyou doing with jacky in hotel my love? ok! i won't say.don't scold me. find leela. ravi! no, no. he is paslo. this is so confusing! ravi isn't going tocome to this hotel today.
hey! why are you staring? why! oh dear! i'm scared. hey! don't be scared of him. you must play with him. coochie coo! before him.. absolutely carefree! stay away. i won't!and it's none of your business!
all of it is my business. he won't stay away, but can'tyou walk away, shameless woman! hey pasla.. watch your statusbefore you talk to me, understand! hey! he wants to takeadvantage of the situation! pasla.. let go! manager.. handle him! - i'll kill you! i'll kill you!- he'll die! let him go! i'll kill him!! pasla.. you want to kill a customer!
but.. bhana.. bhana.. tell him who i am! tell him bhana. (quiet) (duplicate! duplicate!) bhana, it's me! bhana.. bhana.. get out! get out! (aunt.. aunt.. he was a duplicate) (don't worry at all)
that's right. even i was scaredwhen i saw him for the first time. hey! what are you doing here? madam.. bobby has createdthis mess and sent me here. bobby? sapna.. - leela.. where were you? whilst mending your married life,my married life is in danger now! what happened? nothing has happened, but now it will. my husband is looking for me.
oh my god! then you're done for! even your husband is looking for you.he is in the same hotel. leela.. even you were mistaken! ravi hasn't come to this hotel at all. he is the servantof this hotel, paslo. (he is a duplicate) (made in china) made in china. no.. he was the original.i myself talked to him.
leela.. you truly have lost your mind. (didn't i tell you.. she is so dumb!) hey.. sister-in-law is right. sir is not going tocome to the hotel today. (nonsense duplicate) come sir..see.. see.. the entire lover's game. see sir.. see! as soon as i came dressedin a coat and pant.. ..everyone startsaddressing me as sir!
this is a new one again. did you hear his language? believe me leela,,he is not ravi, but paslo. paslo!! no, no, no! (he is paslo) he is sir! - he is paslo! (it fell!) how good is my kathiawadcompared to this ruckus!
can't understand who is whose wife! in our village, a bride and groom's pairis like a pair of lord ram and sita! whereas here..pani (water), puri (crispies).. and pakodi (dumpling)! have fun.. have fun! two men and three and half women..have fun! oh!! hey! you call my bobby 'pakodi'! (aunt.. aunt.. stop him)
(he will be usefulwhen uncle is not around) how can you say that! sorry sorry madam.. sorry sir! henceforth,that paslo won't harass you anymore. sweet! by the way,you all want any refreshments? i'll go mad now! what does he want?! hey.. idli (steamed dumplings)?
no idli! dosa (pancakes)? no dosa. sir.. customer'sironed clothes are here. room no. 111. giraffe! brother.. giraffe! oh my god! he wanted his ironed pant. he was calling his pant giraffe! so what must he be calling his shirt?
(zebra!) (just like zebra has stripes..like her) - zebra stripes! whew! this madrasiepisode finally ends! and the punjabi episode starts. (commotion) what is all this!? stop you rascal! i say stop! (how are you?who are you looking for?)
you all are here.. but my leela isn't. brother-in-law, leela hasn'tcome to this hotel at all. really? 100 %! strange sister-in-law! so my faith in her was right. my leela.. she is pure like the ganga,right sister-in-law? and sister-in-law, that jacky..the poor fellow is innocent, isn't it? leela.. forgive me leela!
i love you leela. these asses think i'm a fool. all of them have cometogether and trying to fool me! now see my handiwork! singh is king!singh is king! singh is king! listen leela.. leela.. he has gone. come out now! come leela! hey! he got convinced so fast!
yes. even when he saw for himself,he got convinced. that is the benefitof marrying a sardar! (didn't i tell you..she is a cunning woman!) now listen to me all of you. whatever happened here today,forget it here itself. think of it as a one daypicnic for which we came together. yes! so let's celebrate! (yes! aunt..come on, come on! dance! dance!) hance?! - dance!
(come on.. come on! dance ok.) (hey! who stopped it?!) (start it!) (talwar.. talwar!) leela.. i won't spare you today! look brother-in-law..- stop it sister-in-law! stop it! i'll take care of her later. but you.. - look.. listen to me! let go! let go!
it's real.. bhana, it's real! listen to me.. it's real! a bullet will be shot, buddy!it's real! (gabbar singh!) (hey kalia..) (i'm talking to you) (what will happen to you?) don't laugh!it's real.. you'll shoot by mistake! hey! what have you done?
(it's his) hands up! meaning? - hands up! hey! - shut your mouth! open your ears! look brother-in-law..listen to what i say. in the whole matter,leela is absolutely innocent. and jacky is not to blame either. i'm telling the truth.i swear on leela.
enough! enough is enough! scoundrels! you all cometogether and try to fool me! this talwar singh justgives empty threats?! hey!!! don't try to escape! stop! hey jacky! jacky..jacky! - jacky!
jacky! - jacky! jacky!!! kitti what have you done?! any husband in my placewould have done the same! what happened? what happened? i heard shots just now! what happened? (talwar shot a bullet) anything happened? nothing has happened here!
but i heard shots fired. i'll call master!- hey.. look.. listen to me! what shall we do now? i'll find a way. leela.. before anthony comes, we'llhave to get rid of jacky's dead body. come on. press the switch. - yes. come on brother-in-law. close the door of the room leela.
sorry leela..all this has happened because of me. what do you mean because of you? leela is innocent? - yes.i'm not to blame in any of this! you shut up! didn't you write theletter and call jacky here? i had written thatletter on sapna's behest. what? - yes. and that too not for jacky, but ravi. i had a doubt that ravihad an affair with a girl.
and to find the truth,i enacted this drama. oh lord! oh lord! what have i done! i killed an innocent man! humor has lead to terror. we all will be arrestedfor this. - yes. bhana, why don't you say anything? (what shall i say?) (to hell with talwar!) stop the jokes and startthinking about escape plans.
where was the firing? my hotel's license may get cancelled! was there a murder?! (manager.. manager.. come here) (come here.. i'll tell you) yes, tell me. what has happened? (a murder has happened) that's what i'm askingwhat has happened? (deaf man.. that's what i'm telling..a murder has happened!)
you're imitating me?! (yours.. no) (you're trying to fool me?) that's right. tell me now.. what has happened? (baldy.. murder..he won't understand murder..) (yes.. murder.. murder!) from where shall i get 'haldar'(turmeric) for this kid now?! (mur.. kill..)
(in this hotel..a dangerous incident has happened) a jet sprayer!? (i'll hit you now!) (baldy.. a bullet! bullet!) yes, yes.. in 'holi' (festival ofcolors), we fill colored water in a.. ..jet sprayer and play with it! but what about it now? (you're so stupid!) hey.. yes!
(in the room inside,there is a corpse!) in our hotel, all rooms are relaxing!peaceful. but kiddo.. what about it now? (who made this baldy the manager?!) bhana.. enough. go home now. come.. i'll take you in sir's car. (take him) tinu.. come let's go home. take him.. i tell you..
(hey! to hell with you!) (manager..manager.. room no. 117 come) hey.. he is crazy fellow..he can't understand anything! listen to me..- (quiet.. everyone quiet!) (he has understoodwith so much difficulty!) so now you're calling me a bullock! (what i mean to say is that you..) (room no. 117.. come, come) just a minute.. - bhana..
oh my god! a corpse in my hotel! my hotel will be black listed..my license will be cancelled. call up police! champahant! - coming sir! immediately call the police on 100. sir, should i add 2 before 100? shall i give you 2 slaps!? get out! - ok. who has committed the murder?
(hey.. talwar.. talwar) at such a time,you want to eat sweets! tell me fast..who has committed the murder? you, you or you? pasla did. yes. your pasla committed the murder. (hey! aunt is so cunning!) you mean our hotel servantpasla has committed this murder? yes. you know well that sometime ago jacky and pasla had a fight.
yes.. and he said that i'll kill you! yes. so he has killed him. yes. he came all of a suddenand started fighting with jacky. talwar tried to stop him, but he snatchedthe revolver and started firing. pasla.. now you'll have to go to jail!go to jail! sister-in-law.. sister-in-law..thank you. you saved me. but who is this paslo? here is paslo. hey! this is ravi.
no. he is the hotel servant paslo. no, no sapna.. he is brother ravi. he is paslo. this is ravi sir. he is our hotel servant, paslo! he is my friend, ravi.ravi khatpatia.. your husband. yes, he is ravi sir. stop it everyone! ravi hasn't come to this hotel.
i know my husband or you? i know him very well. and i know that sinceour marriage in 1998.. 20th december 1998 to be precise. i'm ravi and i'm only paslo. ravi, i made a big mistake. and now, i've to undergo thepunishment for that mistake, not you! before itself,you've blamed me for the murder.. ..i'll admit it in the police stationalso that i've committed the murder.
i would prefer to stayall my life in a police lock-up.. ..rather than stay witha suspicious woman like you! you claim that you know your husband. i couldn't make out becauseof the same appearance. you couldn't understand me outwardly.. ..but you haven'tunderstood my heart too! so are you upset about that? no! now i am all set sapna! it has hurt me here!
when the poison of doubt isdissolved in a marital relationship.. ..it hurts here! when the wife with whom youhave pledged to stay in good or bad.. ..starts poisoning your married life,it hurts here! and when a husband callsthe same wife outdated and.. ..flirts around with an unknown woman,even that hurts here! who has flirted? - you! why did you book a room in this hotel? not for a girl..it was for a party from dubai.
and what you were telling jacky..i want to separate, i am fed up.. ..send a notice! what about all that? that was about separatingfrom my business partner, mr. doshi! and since doshi is your cousin, i hadinstructed him not to tell you now. sapna.. the issue was about a grown nail,and you chopped the finger itself! you can't find answersfor question aroused by doubts! till you find the answers,the paper of life is finished. married life is like a flute. it may have so many holes.
if you know how to play,it produces great tunes. do you understand? do you? because of your suspicious nature,all of us have been put in jeopardy! a man has lost his life. now police..court.. jail.. ruined reputation.. are you aware so manylives will be destroyed, sapna! hey ravi.. listen to me.. look.. sister-in-law has realtears of repentance in her eyes. i say, forgive her.
forgive her. ok.. i forgive you. - that's like it! cock.. i say come out! (hey! hey, this is a ghost!) bhana.. that's not a ghost.he is real jacky. to uproot her suspiciousnature forever, i hatched a plan. in it, jacky and talwar supported me. and along with it,this boiled egg also added up. welcome sir! welcome madam!
(come here.. come here!) (uncle.. uncle.. you both patched up) (now patch us up too!) can't patch you up till one year. (why?) her uncle has expired, that's why. (to hell with her uncle!) (uncle.. where are your feet?) she is saying where are your feet?
bhana.. you rascal! (by mistake..) so buddy..ravi.. our job is over after all. yes. but i'm so tiredfinishing this job.. ..i feel like bookinga room in this hotel itself.. ..and sleep with 'shanti' (peace)! who is this shanti?! oh god! a dog's tail cannever be straightened!
shanti.. our maid!
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