*jazzy music* welcome everybody, to the first episode of the h3h3 podcast! we are so happy to have you here, and we are so excited to bring this show to you guys. today, we have a very special first guest: justin roiland, the co-creator of rick and morty, and a very close personal friend of ours. we're gonna have a lot of fun today. but before we begin, i wanna give a special thank you to dbrand, our first sponsor to this show.
of whom, we are very thankful. guys, let's jump right in! *electronic music* are you guys ready to get schwifty? -ready to get rocked? we got justin roiland on deck. you guys may have heard of him, he was on full house. he played the dad. in full house. bob saget. -yup. he, justin roiland, is bob saget.
-i'm bob saget. this is- this is a fucking news-breaking exclusive. i love your work with those little twin girls. - thank you.those twin kids were... they were the light of my life. ugh. the olsen girls. have they put on weight? i don't know if i can talk about that. -no. they look good. i don't know. i haven't peeped them recently. i wish we... sean, can we get a picture of the olsen twins up here?
-pull 'em up. pull it up. -absolutely. oh there they are. lookin' good. sean, get the fuckin' olsen twins up, quick! -lookin' goooood. so, in reality, this is justin roiland. co-creator of rick and morty, the smash hit. number one, on adult swim. -number one, with a bullet. -killin' it.
everyone loves rick and morty. the voice of lemongrab. shoutout to lemongrab. -give some lemongrab love. -which is such a.. one of the most memorable characters from adventure time. sweetheart, darling, good friend of mine. -yeah..... -really a renaissance man. justin has been dabbling in vr lately squash tendo yeah and season three record a candlelit both wicks how you
doing lately what are you what are you doing what are you working on your dreams where you going i'm just hustling man gotta hustle that's true you are please every gotta hustle to make a penny i feel like i'm just trying to possible to make a penny that too what do you have someone on i i started
video game studio squatch tengo entendido games by the way and if i may say justin rename no good looking horrible to have been triggered planted justin gave me my first vr experience and his game called accounting which is very on steam i could make that game with william pugh who did stanley parable that makes a lot of sales
company is crows crows crows so yeah that was like a fun like just to get was just a game jam earlier this year darla who knows what is probably coming years is it was last year yeah it was in march of last year just before gdc so dc is a game developers conference in case you will take us out there didn't know that but i yeah we
just got together with i really just make something vr because we were both like right pr is insane and.and you do places in the games like a big part of the game yeah yeah we all did voices and but it was like it was just such a font like it was the game a game jam you know exactly how it should be which is just like
getting together working crazy hours but it's fun and it's like coming together really fast and there's there's not a lot of second guessing there's not a lot of like overthinking it's just this is funny this is fun this is what it is like who gives a shit like what you know and not who gives a shit in a like i don't care but who
gives a shit like this is good enough and taking exciting and it's free and it's free we're just having fun looks like mistakes could never be lower right and it's like yeah no expectations yeah disappointment well i'll tell you first of all you guys have a vibe get on steam it's free it's one of the funniest most blackie funny
games like you're going through some vr wild world where i love the basis for its accounting like you start with the most mundane boring concept yeah and then it just goes bananas from there and you have just in skree and ks yes street bananas and it and you have justin screaming at you the whole time yeah but she has asked to the delight of
that experience i just a bunch of great voice talent in the game all just as favors because because it would we knew we were gonna do it for free so it was like yeah you do it like i got cassie steele y'all might know where is manny santos from degrassi the next binary grassy god she's a friend of mine so i just fucking it just drop that name
really hard on what other friend what are you what are the most famous friends you have you say bill cosby lightweight we shall we have a while shell how i'm like i've got the talk when i got to be doing all this weird shit bro anyway to have subject you like em anyway can i get some that children wait huh i can you probably already on
what do you do like nuts that what the boys yea maybe you don't remember them you know if it's fun yeah i was funny every time i hang out with him i wake up like the next day and i i have a big missing capita i'm vaseline next you know there's no there's no there's no like you know her bottle or anything like that it's just i wake up and i'm
like what did we were what day is it do you guys eat jello when you hang out or yeah that's how it started you know it's like i get starts like yelling joe joe pop that's a pretty good cosby as good i i'm so bad impressions i'm glad i got you in here oh well here you want to turn to blossom do the pulling of the
pie here book i'll be bill cosby for a second you can talk to me his book so bill tell me how how did you get drugs and all drugs but the party to the drugs that was fucking wow that was yes can we get a round of applause guys and clap for the mac other one and although he's got training he was denying the allegations so like it was very true to
me and then you hear that dude your hangout but the thing in the drink he's like you guys are hanging out he's like to i didn't rape anyone and then i just woke up next to a fucking vaseline was crazy but he's a great guy we love bill cosby show know why only 1h 3 on the big giant sign why not eh 380 that is waiting that's like a mouth too
long but like it's just such as h three podcast why not h3 with a little too like you know h3 to the square to square up our podcast i hadn't thought about that but that's we could still squared up or gauge 3x2 podcast is 3x to that sounds like this industry sport yeah something that could be when this
empire really blossoms to cover is advanced that could be your extreme sport h3x to i am i am an extreme sportsman you could tell by looking at me yeah you just are an extreme sport you're like the embodiment of the extreme sport yeah i noticed justin it's okay it's
probably the coldest day in la of the year and justin rolled up in shorts and short shirt and i have to say i'm not talking shit because you are man i mean i think we're built from the same block of wood i'm wear shorts every day if i hear ya i hear sure i'm i just happen to be wearing a jacket yeah yeah i got it i like i i was outside now it's
like it's kinda cold out and then i come into the building and my okay that's a little better and then i get into your fucking pockets and i'm like for so what are we gonna fuck with you trying to keep bodies from decomposing to meet fridge i got the jello in the kitchen would you like jello by the way i would love a little jello well am i gonna fall
asleep shot gonna get justice some jello yeah i'm on that well usually guess like a cold i my experience and my problem with the shorts and the t-shirt thing is that i'm psychologically still living in august or maybe sep tember of 2016 like i don't bloody i don't believe that it's you don't believe in winter i just don't
believe it's the did it that time is past and that we're in this world right now like that was the date that we currently are in i don't believe it we can leave we're still in love amber of 20 as i working on it i mean i-i obviously i i understand we're not i'm not like you know i think i don't have a dementia
i don't have access to wherein but it but like i'm every decision i make including the clothes i put on and then i get out in the real world my god fuck yeah it's actually not that's relatable i feel like when especially in israel which is similar you know temperature to la i just that i wearing jackets is a new ass thing for me and i relate to
that because it's like it's socially get cold you're like no dude ya know it's gonna warm up yeah nope well yep your finger oh yeah speaking of you know justin introducing this is bullshit on thanksgiving i think i so yeah yeah i want to say we were funding that we over his house thanksgiving justin you guys may not
know he's not just a hip-hop fan he's into some dirty hip-hop he likes that weird yeah so he starts putting on this gym be 44 joy's i got deeper cover-up it's a fellow top-40 choice right if i would you know iii yeah you know it's hard to say that we played a little bit so anyway there's
this snow is this song and they're pretty blasted that night and that was the song of the night yeah it's the song that decade i can't get out my hand was trying to like let me get on that and play some music i might just hold on fucking music yeah i was definitely like but why did you know you you and you
like you would never heard that song oh you did you know you're like what the fucking we just kept playing it i what i love breaking down the c40 song is called choices yup yeah so it starts very gangster where he's like have you ever pulled the trigger nope now that was a young inventor yeah
you don't get hard you need a hard not to get to know ya dark no yeah that's my favorite yes well i my song for grocery carts and run out of like oh shit the best one is that star wars note yoda yep yeah that would confuse me a lot of guys you're getting all the love ya like what is star wars
well it's also just like yo does not even i mean yes well i gonna get to europe from anyone maybe that's the point he's like well i don't agree with you is like i'm going to get the fuck out of yoga but like but like if you set it if you didn't have all the nostalgia and you're looking at yoga with those rose-colored goggles and you just saw a
yoga for the first time today maybe he'd still be up using yeah and for me my but not the fucking cg final version yeah why the puppet the fucking frank oz puppet well i'll tell you when i first watched those star wars movies i'll never forget when you go to stole those sausages from luke skywalker when they were on that planet he was cooking up
softly wait what i'm gonna straight snag them out of the pan that's really knows you don't remember the i haven't seen that he's like this little fucking graham limb yeah and look at my stir fry sausages how's school here's what's amazing about yoda is like back when they're making those movies they were on a budget
they're on a schedule is like you know they were like you watch documentaries are talking about like you know they had to throw together alien costumes for the cantina scene they're like okay i don't give a fuck just put on that fucking wolf mask fine put that you know those all became action figures of course but at the time it was just like we just got
to get this fucking shit and then i i guarantee you if they had all the time and money in the world it would look you know would have gone through a fucking so many rounds of redesigns and carbon would be like look what okay hold on first of all i've got a couple of that he's gonna end up being like a jacket
like 12-foot tall frog that ya handle rapes people and uses the force lot about jello don't know about that you think do you think it's jello i think yoda probably was only eat jello if it was given to him by his very good friend your left julia you yoda yo-yo-yo-yo it you got it you got to eat jello yoda that's the
families in my held up and go to take the jello wake up with the vasiliev it's all part of you recognize a cross between like i'm a chunky from rugrats and is this name chuckie yeah yeah i just remembered her line that we forgot to mention starving no dinner up back to the e-40 because that's that's the great thing about the
song this will continue to come up throughout this whole show well i gotta get his i gotta get the sleep out of my eyes that's what my that's what my nana used to call it that's what biggie smalls calls it because i just walked up y'all i didn't know that was actually i'm so sleepy today with a sleepy demeanor now
you're great you're full life you're always full life just wanted to shut my eyes and they go wow you're full life and i'm like no because i yes and i try to yes and you know wow i think you have cancer no thank you so much that's what a doctor tried to tell me once and then i just ran out of it i
just ran away wait how long ago was that that guy was like a month ago he's like he had results he's like wow i think you have cancer and i'm like i know and i just fucking bolted and ran down the street and left my car the market garage just ran all the way on give me fine yeah i was like i'm not hearing that yes i think that's on the cancer website
this is this is waiting on cancer right everyone run never can just getting that not that didn't happen also fucking no more cancer jokes you to that fucking dark answer sorry it's not fun let's not talk about cancer yeah unless we're talking about like horoscopes that's fine i'm a cancer actually are
you june i'm a junior boy oh that's right you know i knew that but i don't do you believe in all that schmutz all that fucking i don't know like sometimes its its its yearly oh well first of all i need to say yeah that justin's girlfriend abby was here to my are you very much
she is fucking obsessed with astrology specifically mercury in retro yeah let me let me let me explain really quick the mercury in retrograde ok so mercury if you buy something while mercury is in retrograde it is going to break or it won't work right some territories always in retrograde though it was with her it seems like
it's like it's like you know over the course of a month and a half or two whatever it is it's always yeah it's like finding she said and written it sound like april may it's different everywhere it's like has to do with like you know alcohol astrology like where's this seems like every time i show up you guys house
she's going i'm certain whenever anything goes wrong in my life i'm like oh man i fucking stub my toe yesterday was mercury was in retrograde yeah yeah yeahs i kind but here's the thing is particularly interact and by the way it applies mainly to like you know you don't wanna sign the contracts you don't want to buy any electronics or any
equipment with a bunch of moving parts and and stuff are you gonna buy this dvd player nope is mercury in retrograde yup scared of the dark hope that always found there's just one lesson is on target with that oh that's the one i love the best because that's not much of a brag he's like a grown-ass man yeah yeah it's
like yeah are you scared of the dark nope he says it's so proudly to it's like god your kind of yeah it's not like look tone it down that's not something to be shouting from the rooftops sean are you scared of the dark yup it's not very hard
you kinda get did the wrong one yeah yeah you know no we're not scared i yeah well i don't know are you or not is that a real you know what if he 4340 cloudy what if he is scared of the dark and that was sort of a thing where great fronting what was it was more of like a like he's
like fucking terrified of the dark so it's on his mind but then he's like you could never admit that yeah and so it made its way into the song well the truth that's drunk depressed doth protest too much dot depressed too much that's what i was originally gonna take some beer and wings melody and in the same thought
can you do when i started to say that ron can you like cut in tight on me and like fucking to you know look at the chyron admin of my broken yeah well we'll definitely look at you up to patch up my watch every video well our videos no i was gonna i wanted a curious mm thank you by the way that's really
not the shake just think wow just the best i fucking love this guy i know he's the best mother fucker entertainment although what i was gonna say on one of these things i want to achieve with this podcast was pretty lofty goal but there's i feel like on youtube your youtuber in popular media you're popular media person in psych your well most
youtubers just it's so hard to break out of that that circle and for people over the series break out of the youtube so yeah because nobody wants to fuck you just gotta sit out somebody you gotta stab someone in the neck no no you on the bad fatal no just like you're talking about physical violence or like their arm like a deep it will
you gotta do harm it'll be like to this fucking youtuber is hard so i need to prove myself my street cred don't get come get a knife in here on my step just step up here just stabbed me go for it dude so one of the things i want to attempt to do is you know bridge the gap a little bit between new and in
traditional media yeah which is why i love that your first guess you're so special to me and thank you so much you're welcome a real place i really thank you i really real place just i would i would touch my dick to your dick i don't know if i want to do that and we can get eat jello and have a total bastard
it's very romantic you can tell you you got me with the jello but the first time we spoke i was sitting with sac ak psychicpebbles and we were in new york and it was funny because you're like hey have you heard of this guy h3h3 production oh i texas yeah yeah yeah i guess you just watched our finebros video or some
shit yeah i was i'd watch a bunch of shit i went down i was like watching a ton of shit and i was like it was great i was like this is fucking amazing so yeah it's a bitch i'm not just say i'm glad i'm not honestly i don't want my steak yeah but anyway so he says do you know h3 and zach was sitting next to me and
the time because we were working on a show with jan transitive to get all jan trade shows that is that what he's gonna change his name to jan train just like the name so he goes so just that you think he's heard is that nobody has oh my god says uh keep the fans are great yeah they're great but jan tran i like
all entrants heads so yeah so he says do you know h3 and acts like i'm sitting right next time i was like oh so we so he gave justin my number and then we start testing a little bit like hey how do you do god bless your kind of things and then this and then i we talked a little bit this weekend were in new york and we had
in mind what my people was one of the most awkward texting conversations ever anyone aware of it no i was completely rework olivia so we're talking about something like gum well that that's shocking to me because i thought i was like dead to you know i was my i just i'd like i don't even remember what it was about that's i'm so
the dashes testament to all you guys and you remember what it was about yes caleb can you yeah okay everybody i think it's so funny because it happened so many times right you think you were so awkward and like people are going to hate you and they don't even remember it i swings and say a testament to everyone
listening or watching at home that if you do something really horribly embarrassing there's a good chance the other people even fucking notice yeah i'm i'm like you where i'm like did i just ruin my life yeah and then it's i wish i could shake that a little bit better but yeah it's usually no one gives a shit everyone's
to worry about this one seems really bad i was like we were talking about um kinda can't even know how we got into this conversation and thank you were saying out we're going to move to la soon and we didn't like our neighborhood in new york i don't like the upper west side because you're like it's a weird thing they're like it's all only white
people live there but everyone who works in the stores are all black yeah they all come in from like brooklyn and queens yeah yeah and harlem so there's just like so much like white and yeah sure yeah it's really weird and i was and i was just saying how i thought it was really bizarre and i kept going on about ingesting justin didn't and so you
get that man he didn't have a breakdown and you kept i kept trying to explain this i thought i was coming up really racist and weird and the night and then i said your motor the smiley face with a gun to his head because i was i was trying to express my awkwardness to myself but then i was like oh shit he thinks i want to kill myself because i
can't i can't handle dis us you know racism or whatever you want memories so no i'm glad you remember that so anyway there was like a cold silence for a long time cycle 2 i'm never gonna ever fucking meet justin answer yeah and then you change your number and i was texting you for like like that you know every every couple of weeks billy
hey are you know yet no response like and then finally i i who did i ask i was like i finally although i messaged you on on twitter you change your number and then again like oh course that was so funny because we got hacked yeah we had to change our numbers twice oh yeah we got have got to get hacked
sony we got to get hacked i was wondering how did you find our channel or what do you think about youtube in general okay uh about watching down so well when i haven't i did exercise today on my lip to go but like i was exercising on my elliptical a lot and like i used to watch like walking dead or shit like i
would try to like watch a whole episode of a show back when i was really good about it and i look at fucking disgusting fat i am right now god you're in good shape no you're fine you want to compare food no i'm like going down the pool boy i gotta keep your shirts on but uh but uh but like yeah i was i was
you know i like i watch all of madmen like the whole fucking series on the elliptical every episode or or i did a bunch of shows so it's like you could go like damn like that's that's it you can quantify how many how many hours you exercise but i'm but i started watching youtube videos and i think it was starrcade it was john trial rko
you know what's not what's interesting but i decide yeah is that john always he didn't like starrcade yeah i thought it was great yeah it was great meeting you know everyone's every episode fucking perfect no but like they were all super entertaining and the production and i love that show i love like just going in to like just all the games and took him
playing them and just enough right way but like he had like yoda yo-yo-yo-yo funny / yoda oh yeah i didn't know yeah dude that shit was fucking hilarious so that's what john was one of the first channels i fell in love with as well yeah and i love him because he elevates youtube it's just not a you know it's no longer just shitty fucking disney prince
and princess bloggers you got some real motherfucker out here grindin yeah yeah or or prank invasion fucking no good job morning can we please get some blooms of the shot go get some blowjobs you blow jobs during the blowjobs out hey can you were here i'll tell you what i'm gonna do a secret handshake you can follow it i'm a sucker did you suck my dick ok ok
and then like up come here you don't know what's going on what prank relations with herpes around herpes all over my mouth i don't want to talk to guy because you can oh god look at your beef with anybody chris doesn't actually prank relation chris is one of the he sort of is cool
he's been like some people get really but her yeah he does some people sue you for example that's happened to me by the way let's just not get to run to that but some people are really like hey you know what i understand that there's a first amendment called fucking protection of free speech and when i put myself out there in the public then i
may get criticized was called america that kind of absurd shit yeah it's like yeah he better have had something on her about i think i i gave him credit for you're not fucking with us too badly and fact we recently had a strike from one of his acolytes and and he cleared it up he told the guy to drop it so i
appreciated that huh my prank invasion is definitely one of the most fucking absurd things on youtube i mean it's just it's have you got for those of you who listen you don't know what it is regulation is this i don't want to he can use myself as handsome he wears two he's a very bad man he's mentioned it's
easier to be a metrosexual gent who goes out and and just look it up he keep fucking goes up to girls and goes if i can guess your weight if i can't get or whatever it is i'm like it's amazingly yes he fakes you create this is the actors and he faces making out girls exactly its soft core porn for you to
essentially if you want to make out with girls just fucking do it he does just go on craigslist a.m. and filming or 10 like it's a good girl the public dollars give her reverie pays on right i mean you can even you can even have sex that way believe it or not i'm sure sure he's probably boned a bunch of those girls and maybe what was
your life before rick and morty because right now just just hustling what were you working huh i how far back before while you are in yours working on season three now mmm and wasn't it up turn it up yeah what does that happen by the way any any p can say kiki you might say i can't thanks for my sins next five months next
six months i can't say within six within two months i don't believe it twice no links is absolutely no i can't because i don't know but then also because because i shouldn't say but i'm i just blink twice within three months i'd get in trouble why do you think so i don't know why they're so tight about that everyone
type they just they just want to know no i mean here's what i can say is that it's it's we just why well i can't even see that we all i can say that's coming together it's coming really far feeling good yeah is juicy yes i'm excited it's really exciting so like you know it's been a long wait and hopefully
hopefully all the fans of the show don't like just forget about us or doing did you know what forget about ricky more and that's kind of something else i want to talk about yeah is that we have like a somewhat popular subreddit on on reddit are our community but rick and morty's is even crazier yeah you know it's funny i started that
subreddit argued that are you creating mod i am a creative but but i had no interest in like i started it only because i was waiting to read as of yet me just upset to the point was a problem i have you have curbed the addiction how deep have you gone to read because i've i used to work as job and i would go so deep into reddit that there would be no
pages left like that you get a life yeah just had the bombs get off of ya got there and this was probably around that time yeah i was going on 4chan the cartoon board every time a new episode of brick and mortar we're on for season one and then i did it for some of them on season two and then i just got that out of my
system like like going into season 3 i'm just not so when you post new episodes of rick marty do you go to celebrate you go to 4chan do you listen to people's feedback are you just like i don't want having i did because like i think your first season you know it's like the dream it's like oh my god i have a fucking show on the air like this
actually like yeah of course like that the night air is your just glued yeah what are people saying you know like so so addictive to do that and the thing i did and i've said this before and other other interviews and stuff is that like on 4chan i found that was the only place where i was finding like like every other place was like just all positive
positive in like like and i wanted and i wanted to fucking you like surely there's some critical elements yeah so on 4chan i was like five of course i found it there because the a place you're going to find it and it's good it's like i was like okay okay good so did you did you find constructive criticism there no i mean it's all just
like just like a hate the tumor voices or yeah i could / position to make you feel bad yeah butbut like but then what i did was huntin season 1i there was a couple didn't really cut it like i don't give a shit didn't cut deeper anything but there's a couple things were said i was like oh shit and then i started posting
you know because it's all anonymous like the worst shit about the show and me you were going anybody don't about you get our own show and it was an interesting strategy psychologically because i was like i just said your viewership about me that anyone else could say you wear your vulnerabilities like a shield and because it's because i said it now if
someone else has it all or like it was like so bad that was like no one else could ever what do you say anything where you remember what you wrote it was something like i did a few of them i want to know like like this show fucking socks you know they're fighting with people who like the show my god imagine if they do
they're arguing with the pretty yeah and then trying to convince and well then it became a meme we're looking at night because like because i you know i would i kept going you know again every time an episode premier i would check all those places yeah and then like that night you know and the following day for a little bit but then you know i gotta
get back to work but i want to i want one juicy i want some de basque deep cutting shit you said about yourself remember it was probably like i don't know like the the whoever does the voices of all the characters fucking hack kind of martial no nothing like that nothing like nothing like but just more just like i hate the voices hate
that i hate the guy who knows yeah and then whenever someone would shit talk they would like the mean was like or a good or you're just it wasn't me anymore it's just so weird to like you make something you send it out into the world and its got like complete you know it's reaching across the country and then just see the diverse all the
diversity of people and like the comments that they're saying and all the stuff is just fucking trippy so we relate so much because the comments is such a big part of you two and one of the things i guess one of the good and bad things of you to work on one hand you're so directly connected with your audience and on the other hand it's like
you're getting way too much connection like the comments the good the bad at all surfers up you see everything people on the line here yet people get fucking nasty yeah because i think when they're talking to online personality they think they don't really on realize that they're gonna read yeah so they'll be like fucking fucking jew ass fat talk or
whatever like i mean they say huh transsexuals kind of you they call ya know i i mean i love the way you guys handle it which is the same way i handle it as it's just like you just it's hilarious well there's bench points were when we underwent major changes in our content and then felt like our whole like
everybody looks like turned against yeah i read it and on the on the comments of our youtube and it's like for us we just need to kind of we had to stop braiding the car yeah you have to tune out because you have to just be confident that you know what's best for for for us and our channel so in a way i feel like yeah that's an interesting difference
between popular media and youtube were you can't more i mean the feedbacks there but there's not a fucking chat section underneath the video exactly alright let's take a quick break god bless you and will be back shortly with you boy justin don't go away you will not want to miss this before we move on to the second half
ingestion are gonna be doing some prank calls and it is a lot of fun so please stay tuned i want to give another special thank you to debrand for sponsoring this first episode hit up d brand.com /h 3h three and check out their awesome skins they come on you barely even noticed that there there
it just looks like it's made built right into the phone when people see the phone to like what the fuck like how that's not a skin it's not a case it's d brand and their slogan is it's not a product it's a culture so that's pretty dope but like they have a ton of really cool skins and it just sticks right to the phone so you can't
even tell that it's not it doesn't come this way people going to see like how the fuck did you get a phone looking that cool and that's why i like the brand so check them out here and calm /h 3h three to get zero percent on they were very specific that i said that for some reason guys stay tuned we're coming right back with the boy justin rodent
hey welcome to the what the hell you got 30 my fucking show do i do the intros whoops what justin has been blasting us in the light of this tactic fuck with his tactical flashlight this use the only people are about it kids so welcome back to the h3 pad cast starting jan tran and justin roiland today had to add the last half of our show we try to goof
around have a bit of fun building means first-half getting to know you i feel like we got to know you protectively but yeah it was fun it's i've know so much about jello and vaseline that's my takeaway from part one i just invested in jello and vaseline yeah the soup is a killer egg investment so the second segment we mix it up we have a little
bit of fun because the up together on the couch will get to know you hate how you doing if you can't hear it's me justin anderson really close together look together on the couch but the reason for that is that i i guess to love doing prank calls i used to do them a lot and as i grew up
it's like it's like dog you know yeah it's like it's kick it gets harder because it's like you know you you live you live in the body of an adult now yes so i've been seeing this this sign i want to show it to you and i have no fucking clue what it is they should trips me out and for those you who can see it's a big
sign as a picture of a very slender borderline anorexic asian porn star means you already because she's very about to get five but what the sign says that that has continually perplexed me is it says freeze your fat for is it cool sculpting no surgery no downtime freezer fat and i'm like what the fuck are they selling so i want to call them
up and find out what's up to it let's go to look for example bad off these folks on the on the line to a hat you want to take the lead on the get-go so you can take the lead on this hi how you doing um i was just driving down boulevard and i was just really intrigued by your service could you tell me a little bit about how it works
no i just seen the slender asian woman on the side and i thought she looked real good and i wanted to look a little bit more like her surgery it's a machine whatever areas you want to get treated areas you could treat it kills twenty-three twenty-six percent of your place what else doesn't kill just the fat do they put nitroglycerin in it
sorry i'm here with my yeah i'm here with my buddy here he's also a nitroglycerin anna he's sorry i'm sorry i know it sounds silly a frisã©e listen jeff okay just take it easy sorry i'm sorry i'm babysitting my cousin he i got you on speakerphone but i got my hands full all my cousins who are running around so
it just it just does the fad it doesn't harm the skin or anything how does that how does a phrase the stop jeff i'm trying to lose some weight i'm i'm worried about him i'm sorry so sorry as you were saying and all season fats is hot i'm trying to lose weight can you be respectful for one minute
jeff you're fucking a nightmare dog i'm just gonna enjoy spending time trying to help i'll i'm trying to help you so how many sessions do i have to do before i get results ok there's a lot there's a lot of fat so i'm assuming it's gonna be a lot of time to be in there probably for a couple i mean at the i simone being there so much
i don't know if it's better just to exercise because we're probably gonna be like a year worth of sessions and innovations going to die it okay good do you recommend diving or just freezing it right off the job you wait first tell you what you see you how do they freeze it out it's a machine that goes on the area and it's it on
your on your area freezes it doesn't go to visit oh and our is it cold feeling that his arm doesn't hurt your skinny why you asking let me ask what i'm you don't have to worry about you don't need to freeze off any fat check your skinny let me do the talking looking out for you i don't like top
chef i'm so sorry this kid is right me instead i'm so sorry what's the machine shape like is there scott you don't have to answer his questions don't you can stop and question he's such a nighttime so sir he's such a
shit but i just have i have a couple more questions and then i'll definitely on the book am so tell me um doesn't any tubes go does anything penetrate the skin it sucks to read up on have you have you done the procedure how does it work oh so didn't really i didn't really do that much on the first time the flanks
2000 how how does the that come out of do you poop it out stop what yeah listen i don't want to be i said just stop it when you acknowledge him and when you make it enables in when you make fat car job title talk to lady board to me you make that cold then cut it comes out of your pee-hole that's what she said alright oh how i'm
worried for you what does one more stop ya know i will i swear to god i'm gonna break your glass harry i'm worried for what a day see available jeff fuck off go in the other room and watch the dogs okay the babies in the room is cranked don't you hear the wipe its ass or something
be useful to me jeff i'm worried about god i know what i really good don't be where i need to lose weight man that dr. system i'm fucking 300 pounds overweight i need something this is gonna freeze i'm gonna piss the glad my girl right thank you so what they see available i'm at i like tuesday's definitely tuesdays
*ethan coughâ„¢* tuesday's are good ok, what time would you like? what are your hours? umm... we're open from, um... tuesdays are we gotta do the meeting with the... clinic what time- what days? hours to 30 i usually don't wake up till 7pm is it possible to push the hours
back just because you won the lottery terry doesn't mean got to spend all your millions on this kind of procedures is this expensive by the way short content that you have not there on literally so what they can i get it's like seven or eight more maybe nine it's available by the way how much is it expensive
you might don't even cheese around terry you know you're gonna spend all your million well i can if i if i can i can pay extra i mean i i just came into like a would fall of mine oh he's gonna spend it all i can spend quite a bit of money to keep disturbing for you i can i mean $20,000 i'm gonna call terry okay thank you so much so
yeah my name is jeff tom do you and h.a.m 555 420 blaze it blazing that's right that's correct yes it's five-by-five 420 blaze it that's my number you can reach me there my name's jeff dumb okay great thanks sorry sorry my cousin just has one last word for you here i area have been such a shit do i don't
wanna see you get hurt with all the cold eyes can you just comfort him because i'm going to spend whatever it takes but if you could just come from my hand whew here and just let him know because i'm worried too yeah you have my can you read back the number so make sure you got the right 420 blaze it
thank ya jerry i don't want you to lose your fat that's what makes you a twin that that went deep and poorly like i do have legit questions about the procedure that i want the answer they don't tell you i appreciate it ok so this is what i understand they think they put a tube on you and they suck your kind of into the tube and then
freeze it and then it goes back into your body and somehow you pee it out and it's a bunch of i think how does that even make any familiar don't they don't suck it up they probably put but you heard her say they put a tube and they suck the fat into the two it probably do something with a suction you know when ya yes
nothing actually happens it just feels cold no not like it but it sucks it up and cools it cool it for an hour she said and how i was like bitch i got that much time my day and then and then upi just take a diet and gopher are the best part was when you said you tried and she's like yeah like yeah well i'm gonna go doing you're going on yeah okay well
not really working tell of i like prank calling these people that you don't have to feel too bad about it would you rather call a gold my gold hotline or buy a timeshare i'd like to do the bike gold one but i want but but it let me let me out like i got a really good angle on it so let me like yeah what's your angle my angle is that there's a
coin 1930 sink gardens guidance what will happen they're like gardens or got it gardens is that something you just thank god you have a currency koi no no seriously and sad music tonight before we call it here i did you get a little quick research i'm going to kill the number yeah you're good i'm just gonna play
dumb like giving anyways this coin is worth like millions of dollars so i'm just gonna play all that's cute but i don't know what that's like a coin guy don't it's gonna trust me these guys fucker i know what are you ready to take a call with destiny yeah yeah okay here we go i'm dialing in
it god bless you ok cool hello um i big hi i'm interested in selling i have a gold coin i wanted to sell to i don't know much about gold really how does it work y'all just ya'll just he just y'all just but by the coins don't you let me sit on the cords it
are you going to write number yeah it's just i just wanted to sell a cold coin hey is this the right one now i don't believe so what are y'all what do y'all by its we don't buy anything or just the answering service i think you're the one you're oh did you show you what he was selling gold what do you sell i sorry let me do a guy
i'm here with my good friend my associate alex we're here we're big gold distributes we are hot on the market if you have gold were buying what do you got for us let's buy some gold stock shop right now and you what are you selling today right now let's close the deal y'all buying gold
what is that what that number with that like i don't buy outsell i want to say the value is a like if you were a melt this coin down ok it's worth a thousand bucks but if it was elected but it is what i want to see these good people do is say oh yeah no just my list of yelling yeah we'll give you the weight but it were actually worth a hundred
twenty-five if it's if it's if it's in get like what's it's like an ms 60 65 men like it it's like a hundred twenty-five thousand up hello i have a gold coin that i'm i'm looking to just think i just need to get money real quick to to pay for a car repair need and i was just wondering y'all by go up gold coins
i what i don't know much about coins i just know it says liberty on top and it says 1930 on the bottom make sure you get 50 for it it's got like a woman looks like a woman in a dress on the coin or said at least 50 floors uh-huh he's like he's like no i mean it was
like holy shit yeah everybody gonna be like ask for huh i'm gonna be going get 15 i want so he's gonna sing cards ok think they do your ass they put you on hold to see if you're pranking yeah okay britt 50 make sure you get 50 for it its work it's probably worth more than 50 years at least oh it's uh twenty twenty twenty dollars
it says on the back yet 54 it jeff i'll give you okay how much they gonna give you it's is what water go what's the way to gold worth right now it's about a it's about an ounce i think or something just get this ok ok you know how can it out 908 housing that's that sounds like a great price get a thousand armed ya
don't say that my god my diabetes any of my diamonds so all right so okay great that sounds like a great idea for me oh that sounds real fair this in a i'm sorry simon i'm margins husband and i need at least a thousand for that corn because my diabetes all over the place can we get a rash
are you gonna melt the coin you gotta melt it doesn't have any collectors value this point because my type your says 1919 30 with that yeah 19 30 and we get up that if we could get a thousand i'll bring it by it has a guess i'd say it s is 6000 men i need this dot i got insulin my needles all dried up
i need to get some insulin man can you get me in today i'll give you four thousand dollars 90 right here in a is that close to out so it says not so you get me a thousand you'll get me a thousand you're such a generous guy you really saving us we've been on such hard times i mean the bank is foreclosing on our house my insulin needles are drunk
dry thank you so much for your generosity that extra extra 80 is gonna be a big boon to our and much needed here you're done thank you so much weight bobby i just gotta i just got told from reggie that's the coins worth thirty three thousand dollars
no it's it the man says a thousand but register reggie saying the coins were 33,000 at its lowest at it slow do you want this isn't ms64 this is your name and 64 okay we'll bring the coin on by will be there we've got and it's worth thirty three thousand dollars is that true how much do you know about coins are you
going man have you ever tried to itãµs they're like cheetos but the suite that guy's a fucking piece of shit i was here is crazy he's really oh no uh-oh is it is it into pcgs a sem talar you know more point you know you're cheap it is to get your fucking
coin pcgs certified it's like this coin minimum in the shittiest condition is a thirty-three thousand dollar city we didn't seem very eager maybe one or two exactly alone listen i don't have time on this you but he gets idiots calling going i got a gold card yeah i don't know it says it's got a
mint mark ass on it's a single do that fucking coin is like and by the way if it was like an ms64 or whatever you're looking at like fucking hundred twenty-five grand and up it just keeps going up was he just straight calling us absolutely i love that he's saying the melt value it's like yeah bro i know
what the fucking melt value is but it's like it's like that i'm like are you gonna melt it isn't not gonna know i'm gonna go get a pumpkin generated and i was selling for fucking 33 can't cheat us widows coming at some sweetness on deck guys i hope you enjoyed our number one in our girl oh podcast with justin
roiland of rick and morty fucking stay tuned for season three is coming up soon he's got steam games accounting vr counselor yr tendo we are in production on our first fully funded major game that i can't say anything about yes and he's working on a huge game that he can't say anything about the stay tuned he's a renaissance man he's all over the
coins tendo's a good friend of ours he's a friend of the show this is justin roiland i just love my body i just want to help people that's gonna help people i just wanna make people happy i you know and buy some gold by got a you-know-what my glad we got to have you on again and whatever those nineteen thirties yeah thank god double eagle you
guys want to see just so again make sure to smash that like button and we'll get some gold since when is this gonna be on youtube it's on it's on itunes smash that download button mash that button download just match buttons just smash your head on the keyboard by violent and smash it yeah we're gonna switch itself buttons
for you just because it sounds like merch yes smash it got to smash them button so guys once again thank you so much we appreciate you we love you the buttons masters would be a good band and now our i'm gonna segue into doing one fun look for our sponsor can i be a part of that yes get we do
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quite and even know that this wasn't just not just your phone yeah exactly that's what's so cool about it fits so naturally over the phone that you almost can't even tell that it's not made that way d brand is awesome too if you go to their website they have all kinds of different skins you can get them in wood
and leather and a lot of other textures i'm gonna show a video over me talking right now so you could see the other texture it's very cool it looks like leather done it is it justin's amis and i personally love debrand they're good company and he he wanted me to say this specific is it is it d brand because the d stands for like you know take ya like
a big ol like a big like if you had not know you able to have those you've got a big dick yeah get dinner and and will increase the size of your penis go 2d brand.com /h 3h three and he was very adamant that i say this specifically that they do that they're having a lifetime sale for h3h3 fans of 0% off maybe see that
that's great he said it's like you guys i cannot give your front any discount was like are you sure you want to say that doesn't sound good he said i'm insist that you say that i can give your all your fans a lifetime discount of 0% that's huge thank you deeper and so much for sponsoring our show helping support us thank you justin we leave your good
personal friend and i respect and love you sound like were some level right now thank you so much everybody thank you for tuning in and join us along we will be doing this every week every tuesday so stay tuned we'll be seeing you next time our next guest is you can get on all that oh yeah you guys are still
listening in on itunes alcohol usual suspects and our next guest is going to be felix aka pewdiepie maybe you've heard of him you maybe you haven't but you definitely you definitely um yeah so anyway stan tune in next week for a little pewdiepie action were being him touch takes is a little x-rated you
can love it see you guys next week just please stop with the accent flashlight guys we love you see you next time
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